Friday Funnies!

It’s Friday, the weekend is on the way and life is about to improve. Welcome to Friday Funnies!

These aren’t necessarily biker lines but let’s be honest, cage drivers wouldn’t have the cajones to say them.

When a cop pulls you over don’t ask to wear his hat and shoot his gun. Here are some other Darwin award lines not to say.

Back off Barney, I’ve got a piece.

Want to race to the station, Sparky?

On the way to the station let’s get a twelve pack.

You’ll never get those cuffs on me…Punk!

Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

Hey, wasn’t your daughter a pork queen?

How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

I’m surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?

Hey, you must’ve been doing’ about 125 mph (200 km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!

Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

“Bad Cop! No Donut!”

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Ya, I know there is no one around, that’s how far I am behind.

You’re NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

Didn’t I see you get your ass kicked on “COPS” last week on TV?

Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend’s bed.

I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket

So, uh, you “on the take”, or what?

Gee, officer! That’s terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn’t let you play with your gun when you were little?

Hey is that a 9 mm? That’s nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

While your messing with me, make sure you smile for the video camcorder.

Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

Hey, you look like that girl I banged a few days ago…

Hey, aren’t you one of the Village People?