Friday Funnies – Independence Day Edition
A few one liners to get the celebration started!
Food, Family, Fourth of july, and Fireworks. The four best F words ever!
What happened as a result of the Stamp Act? The Americans licked the British!
How come there’s no Knock Knock joke about America? Because freedom rings.
What’s red, white, black and blue? Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
What was General Washington’s favourite tree? The infantry.
What do you call a redneck bursting into flames? A Fire Cracker! What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance.
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? It can’t sit down.
Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army? Laughayette
Why did the duck say bang? Because he was a firequacker.
What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington? One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill.
Why were the first Americans like ants? They lived in colonies.
What do you eat on July 5th? Independence Day-Old-Pizza.
What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country? Beneduck Arnold.
What did the fuse say to the firecracker? Lets get together and “pop it like its hot”.
What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772? The Boston Flea Party.
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the horse was too heavy to carry.
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell? Yeah, it cracked me up!
What do you call a duck on the fourth of July? A fire quacker.
What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed? The Fodder of Our Country!
What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing. It just waved.
Which colonists told the most jokes? Punsylvanians!
The 4th of July was not declared a national holiday until 1941. John Hancock was the only person to actually sign the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, 1776. The other signers did not sign it until August 2nd, 1776 or even later.
While we celebrate with cookouts, bon fires, beer, and explosives this holiday weekend – remember why we celebrate. Often lately it seems we love the holiday but don’t remember why we have it.