Law#1 - Riding: Ride like they're out to kill you. Don't even think about them not seeing you - think they *do* see you and want to kill you. ie - plan your escape.

Law#2 - Parts: You never need the part you have. (and the sublaw is - the further you are from the part you need is directly proportional to the probable need for the part (Canada proved that to me -))

Law#3 - Troubleshooting: Look where you last worked.

Law#4 - Tools: You never have the correct tool on hand. And if you own it - someone borrowed it or it's lost in the dark corner of the garage where all the little red spray tubes congregate (spiders drag them there.)

Law#5 - People: There is always a greater idiot. Make something idiot proof to demonstrate this.

Law#6 - Incompetence: (A borrowed law) Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence.

Law#7 - Devices: Most things work until they break. Then they're broken.

Law#8 - Parallelism: If one of two identical bulbs burns out, it's buddy is just waiting until you've replaced the one, and buttoned things up to blow out. Also applies to lots of other devices.

Law#9 - Self-aggrandizement: You were always faster in the retelling than in reality and fish that got away are *always* whoppers.

Law#10 - Time: *IS* relative. It can be much longer or shorter depending on the situation. Repair times tend to stretch out, good rides tend to be too short. Having to pee without a place to go can be infinity.

Law#11 - Self-knowledge: We're all bozos on this bus.

Law#12 - Pitstops: Take a pee whenever you find a place to. As you get older the urgency gets greater and the apparent distance between urinals gets greater. Related to Law#10.

Law#13 - Test Rides: Never ride a bike you can't afford. If the test ride is successful, it means you will either be unhappy with your current bike until you figure out a way to afford the new bike, or in for domestic turmoil as you try to convince SWMBO that you not only NEED the new bike, it's a necessity.

 

I almost agree with 13 but need 2 bikes.

 

14. Never follow a load of anything (if you can help) it or you will pay for it someday.
15. Always allow plenty of room around you for others mistakes because they will make mistakes even if you don't.
16. Never hit anything in the road no matter how innocent it may look (don't ask me how I know).
17. Always drive for everyone else as well as for yourself because no one cares about your life as much as you do.
18.......

 

18. The day you leave the raingear at home is the day you need it.