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Old 12-24-2012, 02:22 PM
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Default twas the night before Christmas, biker style!! no not that old one!!!

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Garage,
Not a creature was stirring – not even the Dodge.
Spare tires were hung by the tool box with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas would fill them with air.

I had been up near half the night,
Washing, waxing, and tuning up the bike.
My wife in her sweat pants, and me in ‘Doo rag,
Had just finished packing the giant T-Bag.

A trip we were planning, in the morning come dawn,
A quick breakfast and coffee, and then we’d be gone.
To visit some friends, some far and some near,
To share the joy of Christmas and perhaps down a beer.

When out in the driveway, there came such a noise,
At first I thought “it must be my boys”.
But I could not mistake that Harley Thunder,
“What else could it be? “Some HOG folks” I wondered?

I stumbled out of the garage, into the night,
And was immediately blinded by all the lights.
“Turn off those lights!” I yelled into the dark,
“Shut down those motors and find someplace to park.”

When my vision returned, and I squinted my eyes,
I could just make out a shadow, about three times my size!
“Come out of the shadows,” I implored,
“Come have a beer,” and we went through the door.

He was a huge man, with arms like Popeye
Covered with tattoos, and a gleem in his eye.
He was covered in leather, but it was Red and not Black!
And I couldn’t help but notice the large bag on his back.

Red chaps and red boots, red leather coat too,
Red gloves and red scarf, and even his ‘doo!
His beard was heavy and thick; as were his lashes,
And his outfit was topped off with a vest full of patches.

His face was ruddy, sun-caked and baked,
And I knew in an instant; This guy’s no fake!
I’ve known many tough men, but this man was bolder,
His mileage patch stretched from shoulder to shoulder!

He burped and he grunted, lifted his left leg and farted,
And right after that, the rope on his bag parted.
I was somewhat amazed and awed at the sight,
Of packages flying from the bag through the night.

Tools flew to the tool box,
A sound system appeared,
A new windshield for the Harley,
As he shouted “MORE BEER”!

When he was finished, he Shouted “Good Cheer”!
And as he turned to leave, he downed one more beer.
He went out to the drive and into the night,
As I followed him out, I turned on the porch light.

His steeds, they were metal, all shiny and bright,
And I stared at them with awe on that cold, fateful night.
He started his steeds, each one by one,
And I could tell in an instant, this was HIS kind of fun!

He reached the lead steed, and turned on the key,
In the dim light, I could faintly see.
He pulled out the choke; swung a leg over the saddle,
Jumped up in the air, and came down – HARD – on the pedal.

It sputtered and coughed, then died in the night.
I heard him mutter “Something’s not right!”
He tried again, hollering “Come on you putz!”
Then he let out a loud yell – He’d come down on his nuts!

He turned to me and with all he could muster,
Said “I have a problem, can you help me out buster?”
I stood a little taller, as I replied “Yes I can”!
And I could see very plainly, he was eyeing my “Pan”

We swapped them out quickly, he was soon on his way,
And as he rode off, I heard plain as day,
“On Avon, on Metzler, on Dunlop and Goodyear”,
“Next stop is The Rendezvous, to restock their beer”!

As the full moon rose and lit up the scene,
He did the most awesome wheelie I’d ever seen!
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all Good Cheer!”
“Why not?” I thought; “His belly’s full of my beer!”

I replaced the spark plug wire – I’d been smart as a fox!
I had removed it as he delivered the last box!
My wife looked at me with total disbelief,
I said “Don’t worry Honey – We now have a Chief!”

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  • 39 posts


December 23, 2012 12:50:02 PM EST

Last edited by harleycharlie1992; 12-24-2012 at 02:24 PM..
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Old 12-24-2012, 02:26 PM
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harleycharlie1992 harleycharlie1992 is online now
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chief, I don't know if you posted this here or not, I did a search and didn't see it, but great poem, all credit to you!!
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Old 12-24-2012, 05:00 PM
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That is good stuff...Merry Christmas to all.
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Old 12-24-2012, 05:36 PM
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mikelikesbikes mikelikesbikes is offline
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Thanks for the laugh. Santa, beer and farts....
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Old 12-24-2012, 05:50 PM
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Awesome! Very clever. Kinda brings a tear to the eye.
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Old 12-25-2012, 07:55 AM
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Merry Christmas to all the bikers. The RUB's, the Jap bike guys, the posers, the 1%ers, the wallet bikers, the guys with the neon jacket, the no helmet guys, the loud pipers, the iron butts, and the next generation that are getting a mini-bike today.
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Old 12-25-2012, 01:21 PM
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Nicely done!
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Old 12-25-2012, 03:22 PM
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That was great, hahahaha. Merry Christmas.
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Old 12-25-2012, 03:22 PM
 
 
 
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