WHO DOESN'T LOVE A GOOD BLONDE JOKE !!!
ENJOY..
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed
Listening to the next door neighbor's dog.
It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed
And her husband says "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"

The blonde says,
"I put the dog in our backyard,
let's see how THEY like it!



Two Blondes With Hammers...

Roz and Gloria were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity
House. Roz was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail
Pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it
In.

Gloria, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you
Throwing those nails away?'
Roz explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of
Them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'
Gloria got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't
Defective! They're for the other side of the house!'



You might have to think twice about this one.

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
Of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency
Room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
Off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and
Then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants..

I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a
Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
Trigger.

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
Hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
To a repair shop. Theshop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
Decided to have some fun.. He told her to go home and blow into the
Tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
Blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
Harder, and still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first
Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'



A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
My mother had passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the
Day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and
I have the best chance of doing that here.'

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of
hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out
from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.

'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.

'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!'


A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car.
"235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"



A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes the blonde's headphones off and cuts her hair. At the end, the woman asks how she likes her hair but, to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up the headphones and listens.
She hears: “Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out."


How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?
Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.


What do blonde women put behind their ears to attract men?
Their ankles.


It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"

And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"

 

Those are good TJD.

 

Thanks for the laughs.
Good way to end the night.

 

What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette....... ??

A blonde doing cartwheels.

 

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a
flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like
to play a fun game? The blonde, who just wants to take
a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to
catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy
and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and
if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice-
versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the
answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I
will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will
be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from
the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls
out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer,
"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four
legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and
searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air
phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of
Congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends emails to all his
friends and coworkers, to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00. The
blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde
and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the
lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep....

------------------------------------------------------------------

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the
assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a
little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't
sell bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed,
the blonde assures the pharmacist that she had been
buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and
would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the
pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is
just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back
and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push
up bottom."

-----------------------------------------------------------

There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope.
They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn't let go and they will both fall to their deaths.
The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself.
At the end of the speech the blonde starts clapping.

------------------------------------------------------------

 

Why do Blonds use electric push mowers to cut their grass
So they can find their way home with the cord

 

A hiker is out walking along the bank of a river. He decides he is lost and spots a blonde
on the opposite side of the river.
He yells over to the blonde and asks if she knows
how he can get on the other side of the river...
the blonde smirks and replies "DUH! You ARE on the other side."

 

A blonde drops off a blouse at the the dry cleaners and as she is walking out the door the Chinese lady say's come again, to which the blonde replies " not that is any of your business but it happens to be mayonnaise this time you nosey bitch".

 

Those are Funny!!

 

Why do blondes wear earmuffs?
To avoid a draft!

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

Why did the blonde hold her hands tight in the air?
Trying to hold onto her thoughts!

What do you get when you put 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes!

What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change!