Old Bones
05-05-2008, 08:30 PM
ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION
REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT.
A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of
$560.00)He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin . It's mid-winter; and of
course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the ice with
their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR.
They decide they want to make a natural looking open water area for the
ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to float on.
Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck, is going
to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce. So,
out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short
40 second-fuse.
N ow our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip
on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming
toast, along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of action:
they light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the
stick of dynamite as far away as possible.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR,the
GUNS, and the DOG...???Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab
used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner.
You guessed it: the dog takes off
across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with
the burning 40-second fuse, just as it hits the ice.
The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their
necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog
to stop.The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming.
One hun! ter pan ics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is
loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.
The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on.
Another shot, and this time the dog, st ill standing, becomes really confused
and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane.
The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new Navigator.
The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the
truck touches the dog's rearend; he yelps, drops the dynamite under the
truck and takes off after his master.
Then ' ' ' ' ' KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOM ' ' ' ' ' ! ! ! !
The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the
two idiots standing there with 'I can't believe this just happened' looks on
their faces. The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use
of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. ! And he still had yet to make the
first of those $560.00 a month payments.
The dog is okay. doing fine.
And you thought Rednecks lived in the South.........
REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT.
A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of
$560.00)He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin . It's mid-winter; and of
course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the ice with
their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR.
They decide they want to make a natural looking open water area for the
ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to float on.
Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck, is going
to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce. So,
out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short
40 second-fuse.
N ow our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip
on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming
toast, along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of action:
they light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the
stick of dynamite as far away as possible.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR,the
GUNS, and the DOG...???Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab
used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner.
You guessed it: the dog takes off
across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with
the burning 40-second fuse, just as it hits the ice.
The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their
necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog
to stop.The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming.
One hun! ter pan ics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is
loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.
The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on.
Another shot, and this time the dog, st ill standing, becomes really confused
and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane.
The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new Navigator.
The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the
truck touches the dog's rearend; he yelps, drops the dynamite under the
truck and takes off after his master.
Then ' ' ' ' ' KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOM ' ' ' ' ' ! ! ! !
The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the
two idiots standing there with 'I can't believe this just happened' looks on
their faces. The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use
of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. ! And he still had yet to make the
first of those $560.00 a month payments.
The dog is okay. doing fine.
And you thought Rednecks lived in the South.........