i changed my bars to flat track style sportster bars had to change 3 cables. but it made a big difference in comfort and handling. and of course they are black.
I like cheap mods because barley anything is for the vrod line. so you can black out the upper forks by wrapping them in black vinyl (cost me 10.80$) at a local graphics shop and the 04 and later sportster brake caliper inserts happen to fit in the cam covers on the motor, HD sells a few different designs made for the vrod but the sportster brake calipers work great too.
The sundowner seat is a worthwhile investment if you dont mind getting pushed foward a bit.
You will find yourself fixing and replacing all the parts that were not black in the first place.
for the exhaust it depends what you want, i like the stock exhaust system, i can hear my music, and i kinda like the sound when you get on it. im looking into making the exhaust look better by blacking it out, i wasnt a fan of the silver cans on the all black bike. Like you I have also heard that the stock exhaust makes the most power and thats just another reason why im staying with it.