Chemist's Humor
The following is an actual question given on \\;
University of Washington chemistry mid term. \\;
The answer by one student was so 'profound' \\;
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the \\;
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure \\;
of enjoying it as well: \\;
 \\;
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) \\;
or endothermic (absorbs heat)? \\;
 \\;
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs \\;
using Boyle's Law (gas coo ls when it expands and heats \\;
when it is compressed) or some variant. \\;
 \\;
One student, however, wrote the following: \\;
 \\;
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is \\;
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which \\;
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are \\;
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul \\;
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are \\;
leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's \\;
look at the different religions that exist in the world \\;
today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a \\;
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there \\;
is more than one of these religions and since people do not \\;
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all \\;
souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, \\;
we can expect the number of souls in He ll to in crease \\;
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the \\;
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order \\;
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, \\;
the volume \\;
of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are \\;
added. \\;
 \\;
This gives two possibilities: \\;
 \\;
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the \\;
rate at which souls enter Hell, and then the temperature \\;
and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks \\;
loose. \\;
 \\;
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the \\;
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and \\;
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? \\;
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my \\;
Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell \\;
before I sleep with you,' and take into account the \\;
fact that I slept with her last ni ght, then number two must \\;
be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has \\;
already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that \\;
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not \\;
accepting any more souls and is therefore, \\;
extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the \\;
existence of a divine being which explains why, last \\;
night, Teresa kept shouting, 'Oh my God.' \\;
 \\;
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
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