Wow, ok, I think it's unanimous that I'm an idiot. No excuses, but I have always given my family the very best I could (or in this case couldn't afford). My wife worked when we bought her truck, it's a 1.9% loan that will be paid off within a year. If I can hold out till then, this truck should last us 15 years, right?

Second, my bike is my only vice, bill. I ride 50 miles roundtrip each day to work and prefer to do it on a bike. Might as well have one I can be comfortable on.

3rd, someone said about credit cards and knowing I have them, making minimum payments every month. Actually, I have a card that I use for repairs, gas, tires, that I pay off every few months MAX. Credit score is now almost 800, as I have been doing everything I could to repair my sins of the past. Oh, and I never said this was my wife's fault as a few stated. I said we are not on the same page. She wants to clip coupons but eat out a lot, and I like home cooking but driving nice toys. She'd drive the same car 20 years but wants to go to Disney every other year and I want a new car or bike every 3 years and would rather spend my vacation time fishing or riding across the country. Like I said, not on the same page.

I REALLY appreciate all the advice and am doing things to change my situation. Like I said originally, I guess I was really just whining. I know there are some experienced people on this site who have been through exactly the same thing. that's why I posted in the first place. I apologize if this post seemed stupid to some of you, but I have never been afraid to ask for help or advice and know when to shut it down.

As for the personal digs at me and smart *** comments, thanks for those too as they made me laugh. Some people take themselves too seriously.

I will ride forever.

 

Make a written budget. Get a lock on how much money you have coming in and and going out. Once you list everything, you can get an idea of what to work on. To not be broke, you must take in more than you spend. Make adjustments accordingly - either boosting income, reducing spending or both. Good luck

 

1) You need to get your wife on the same page. You cannot succeed when both ends are pulling in two different directions. Trust me on this one. Twenty years with a wife (now ex) that almost drove us into bankruptcy 3 times.

2) You need to get on a written budget. You are operating like you are the government.

3) House payment is well in line for your income, but the truck and bike payments are insane. You could almost buy another house for those. How about moving down in truck and bike till you get things under control.

4) I hope your daughter, and if it were me your son too, are contributing to insurance, and the cell phone bills.

5) $285 for cable and wifi seems a bit steep. I would look at what you could cut back on there. Dump HBO/Max/Showtime, and go Netflix/ Amazon TV/Hulu.

6) The Dave Ramsey system does work. You have to develop the discipline to delay gratification. When I left the ex I was broker than broke. 401k/ and ROTH were wiped out. Savings was running in the red. I worked the plan. Bought used rather than new. This year my now wife and I bought a 2100 sq ft house with a pool on the lake...CASH! Retirement savings is building nicely (I did cheat and contribute to it while rebuilding), though I may need to work a bit alter in life than I would like. Things will get better.

Start now. Every day you delay is a day later you will be working rather than retiring.

 

You're problem is you've never been really poor and had to appreciate every $.
My wife and I started with $100 when we were first married. $60 went to first month rent (we're talking early 1960s). We've worked and saved all our lives remembering our humble beginnings.

 

OP, you're not an idiot. It appears the majority of those responding have been where you are. I know I have, and frankly, as much as it sucked at the time...I was THIS CLOSE to homeless several times...I wouldn't trade those tough days for anything. Getting out of it built my confidence and 30 years later, I remain grateful each and every day for the lessons learned and NEVER under appreciate the fact that I have gainful employment. So look at it like a challenge that you will overcome and learn from. But do the work to turn it around. You've been given lots of great advice that can help you get to where you want to be...USE IT! Good luck!

 

I make as much as a bird Colonel on active duty and net less than I did on active duty as a Master Sergeant. I pay for everything cash and haven't used a credit card in years but I'll burn through everything I make like wildfire. I'm not a 401K, save for the future, pay college for grandkids etc kind of guy. None of us have the guarantee of tomorrow so I'm spending it today.

The more you make, the more you spend is correct but at least I have it to spend and not in debt up to my ***. Good luck OP, not all is lost.

 

Live below your means, and you'll always have a fat wallet. I do. Good luck.

 

Is there a reason your wife doesn't work?? I haven't seen this asked yet. Not trying to be an ***, just a question.

 

You know how much money you make; exactly. You also need to know how much money you spend; EXACTLY; and where it goes. All it takes is a blank ledger book, a ruler, pencil and a calculator. Oh, one more thing you'll need; the desire to not being owned the rest of your life. That should supersede your impulse desire to spend money on things you don't need.

 

I agree - has nothing to do with being an idiot. An idiot doesn't earn $100k usually. And yes, I have had financial struggles and learned hard lessons. So with the OP feedback -

If you only have one year left to pay on the truck, you could easily sell it and buy an inexpensive car for cash and use the rest to pay down more on the bike. What kind of terms do you have on the bike? with an 800 credit score it should be no more than 2.9%. I would throw cash at that and refinance it down to a more manageable payment. Just those two things will save you close to a grand a month.

Then focus on the cell phone and cable - you're spending double what you should.

With college tuition I would (and did) pay half. I wanted my kids to earn the other half, which they did. I believe it made them appreciate it more.

Eating out? Sure. But no more than once a week and do your drinking when you get home. Booze doubles the bill. Plus you don't need a DUI anyway.