Friday Funnies!

Another week down, another week to go. Retirement can’t come soon enough. In the meantime another edition of Friday Funnies to make it all a little funnier.

This week we take a look at the fundamental difference in how man and women prepare for a rally.

Women:

Three weeks before;

Book hair, nail, eyebrow appointment

Buy hair color

Search everywhere for new outfits

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror… decide that you need to lose a 10 pounds in 3 weeks, so make mental note to do workout, sit-ups, squats, etc, every day

Save small amount of your favorite toiletries, face cleanser, toner, eye make up remover, day cream, night cream, eye cream, factor 15 for the face and factor 8 for the body (the sun WILL come out), body lotion, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, hair product one (to give it body), hair product two (to make it straight), hair product three (to make it glossy) hair product four (so it does not frizz), hair product five (to keep it in place)

Two weeks before;

Buy new outfit (two of just in case) off the internet, found using searches such as ‘Biker babe’, ‘biker rally outfit’, ‘black goth’, ‘black basque ladies’, etc…

Start tan-tastic preparations, scrub flesh and moisturize

The week before;

Dye hair, hair cut, buy new hair product

Eyebrows waxed

Manicure (and pedicure if its summer)

Apply self-tanning creams (unless goth)

Look in shops for a new outfit (just in case you see one you like better than the two you bought last week)

The day before;

Sort out the clothing you are taking into piles

The clothing you are wearing on a hanger

The day of;

Face pack, condition hair, shave armpits and legs, apply make up with no mascara (to avoid panda eyes on the way in gail force winds)

Try to pack 10 tops, three pairs of jeans, 3 sets of matching underwear, toiletries (as above), towel (the size of a small country) into small bag

Text girlfriends to see if they are taking hairdryers and/or straighteners as you realize you have gone over your allotted baggage space

Moisturize whole body, get dressed putting on extra layers of clothing that you could not fit into small bag

Put extra items you forgot to pack into coat pockets

Men:

Put tent on bike

Take toothbrush if longer than one night

Moan at woman at the amount of luggage she is taking for two nights

Put on ‘Rally’ pants, club t and leather vest

Go…