Our group was up there too. We rode up from Fresno. I took a picture of that same Triumph at Jamestown HD. Pretty sweet bike. Our destination was a bit further up the road at Strawberry. Honestly, I didn't know about the Chili-Cook-Off before hand, or I might have planned around that instead.
By the time it got into the afternoon, we had already been on the road for seven hours, and my gal was getting tired and grumpy. So, faced with a two and a half hour ride home, we headed out about 3:30. Before the Chili Cook-Off got underway.
How about the important part....pics of lots of different chili!
Any good chili contest should have porta potties that look like this..
Some chili contest humor....
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Texas Chili Cook Off (Humor - Warning: Rough Language)
Internet | Somewhere in the past | Unknown Texan
Posted on 10/10/2001, 11:27:12 PM by Sen Jack S. Fogbound
Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:
Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.
CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced.
CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Freakin' Rednecks! ! !
CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that **** Sally. I need to wipe my *** with a snow cone!
CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.
FRANK: You could put a #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like ****, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.
FRANK: - - - - - Mama?- - - (Editor's Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report).
Last edited by ChickinOnaChain; 03-20-2016 at 05:19 PM.
Our group was up there too. We rode up from Fresno. I took a picture of that same Triumph at Jamestown HD. Pretty sweet bike. Our destination was a bit further up the road at Strawberry. Honestly, I didn't know about the Chili-Cook-Off before hand, or I might have planned around that instead.
By the time it got into the afternoon, we had already been on the road for seven hours, and my gal was getting tired and grumpy. So, faced with a two and a half hour ride home, we headed out about 3:30. Before the Chili Cook-Off got underway.
It was a beautiful day
To bad we missed-Ya , maybe next time there is something goin on we can Exchage Cell-numbers . was there any Snow up at Strawberry ?
I got pulled into the completion chili scene due to my wife's parent's both being cooks. Used to go to 10 or 12 cook-offs a year. Finally got to the point where I was asked to judge on a regular basis. My favorite to do was the Ventura County Fair cook-off (before the local health department wet their pants and asked for everyone to do a bunch of crap that was un-realistic so the organizer ended up cancelling it) there was always at least two world champs and 8-10 state champs there. Made it hard to pick a winner, but you could always count on some great chili.
03-20-2016, 09:01 AM
