For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity....
#1
01-18-2009, 06:35 PM
For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity....
for those who love the philosophy of ambiguity....
1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes,
why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason that santa is so jolly is
because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,
"where's the self-help section?"
she said if she told me,
it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person signs swear words,
does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal
eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued,
can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime,
do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
20. One nice thing about egotists:
They don't talk about other people.
21. How is it possible to have a civil war?
22. If one synchronized swimmer drowns,
do the rest drown too?
23. If you ate both pasta and antipasto,
would you still be hungry?
24. If you try to fail, and succeed,
which have you done?
25. Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have "s" in it?
26. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
27. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes,
why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason that santa is so jolly is
because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,
"where's the self-help section?"
she said if she told me,
it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person signs swear words,
does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal
eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued,
can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime,
do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
20. One nice thing about egotists:
They don't talk about other people.
21. How is it possible to have a civil war?
22. If one synchronized swimmer drowns,
do the rest drown too?
23. If you ate both pasta and antipasto,
would you still be hungry?
24. If you try to fail, and succeed,
which have you done?
25. Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have "s" in it?
26. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
27. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
28. If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times
do they become disoriented?
do they become disoriented?
#5
01-18-2009, 10:04 PM
Road Master
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Milwaukee, WI
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#7
01-19-2009, 06:41 AM
Road Warrior
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#8
01-19-2009, 07:20 AM
Tourer
very funny stuff...
..sounds like Steven Wright to me.
"I bought some used paint the other day- it came in the shape of a house".
"I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier the other day- I put them in the same room and let them fight it out".
"I bought some used paint the other day- it came in the shape of a house".
"I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier the other day- I put them in the same room and let them fight it out".
