The Top 5 Uncoolest Motorcycle Helmets of All Time
Last week we posted our list of The Top 5 Coolest Motorcycle Helmets of 2015. Our choices were based on Bad Ass Helmet’s much larger list of the “50 Coolest Motorcycle Helmets.” This week we return to offer our take on the five weakest helmets.
We’ve based our choices on helmets that have almost no functionality, and even less taste. Wearing these helmets during a long ride is a little like wearing a really bulky costume to a Halloween party. Is it entertaining? Sure. But the allure of that wears off, and when it does, you’re stuck wandering around in that embarrassing costume till that party – or that ride – is over.
With that in mind, here are our choices for the top five “least cool” motorcycle helmets of 2015:
1. Any Ornate Version of a Robot Helmet. Stormtroopers, Halo 4, Optimus Prime. These might be fine assuming you’re playing with your five year-old. But they look ridiculous out on the open road, and wearing one represents the equivalent of begging any cop to pull you over.
2. Any Helmet That Comes Bearing Multi-Inch Spikes. If you’re riding toward the apocalypse, I suppose this take on steampunk might make sense. But in the modern world, where Mad Max does not exist, a gimmick like this sends a signal that you’re desperate for attention. Let your bike do the talking. The headgear’s there to back it up.
3. The Iron-Man Helmet. Bulky. Awkward. Ridiculous. If you don’t have the rest of the working outfit, best to leave this bobble-head at home.
4. The Viking Helmet. At this point, you may see a trend forming. To be clear: you want to make a distinction between what qualifies as kick-ass head wear and what sends a message that you’re still caught inside some boyhood hole. Riding around in a viking helmet isn’t only a great way to let people know you’re dying to be seen, it’s a surefire way to get your neck snapped by a roadside object.
5. Jewelry Helmets. Tacky. Not to mention a waste of anything but costume jewelry. Embedding a single headstone? Now that might make good sense. But covering the entire helmet with shiny gadgets … well, how would you even go about taking a helmet like that off?
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