A Priest and a Rabbi are taking a boy scout troop on a plane trip to the Grand Canyon. Half way thru the flight, the Pilot comes out of the cockpit and tells the two men "The Plane is going to crash, we cant make it to a runway, and there are only three parachutes. I need you both to pray for a miracle!" With that, the Pilot takes one of the chutes, and jumps from the plane. The Priest turns to the Rabbi and says "What should we do?" "Lets grab the other two chutes and jump too." says the Rabbi. 'Well what about the Scouts?" Asks the Priest. "Screw them!" Says the Rabbi. The Priest thinks for a second then says, "Do you really think we have enough time?"

 

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Some call it a six pack, I call it group therapy

HORN DOES NOT WORK- WATCH FOR FINGER!

 

lol....no politics, huh? That's why no Obama jokes, yet.

 

I made some dude's day today. I was taking my Springer to the shop (oil leak from the fins) and at a traffic signal I was behind a pick up truck with the gate down. About a foot from the open gate is a wallet. I managed to catch up to the guy at the next traffic signal and let him know his wallet was not too far away from falling out.

 

about 2 months ago i pulled up to a drive thru atm machine at a chase bank on my bike. i threw the kick stand down and started my transaction when i noticed a cell phone on top of the machine. i finished my transaction, pulled into a parking space and looked for a number that he called often. the was one that said "the wifey" so i called the number and it went to voice mail. i left a message that i found the phone and was goingto take it into the bank so he could pick it up later.as i was typing i received a text from "the wifey" so i responede to the text with the same info i left on the voice mail. i hope he got his phone back and didnt get in too much trouble

 

Haven't had the opportunity to do any good other than hold the door for an elderly gent at the local grocery and saved a turtle on the way home. Wife was like what are you doin, you cant stop in the middle of the road. My reply was 'pfft. I stopped the truck, got out and stopped traffic and moved the turtle to wooded area, not one vehicle responded with any negative anything. Nodded at the first car behind me and in front of me, got back in the truck listened to my wife's 'saved a turtle' but got run over jests. Dang redneck girls...lol

 

You made that guy's day, no doubt that one.

 

Any good seafood restaurants in the Sebring area?

 

Given the locale I would think fresh water fish and gator would be the menu highlight. Living in FL I've found the best seafood are on the coastal areas. I drive 30 miles to enjoy a decent grouper dinner.

 

I was thinking that the coast or keys would be the ticket. Just moved here this past Sunday so It will take some time to explore