FL Crew Coffee House/BS Thread
Outstanding HDF Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,762
Likes: 22
From: right down from the FloraBama
The doc had him drop his jeans and bend over and diagnosed the problem right away. "There's a string hanging out of your rectum."
"Pull it out," he hollered. So the doc gave it a yank and out popped a bouquet of flowers.
"Where the hell did that come from?"
"How should I know' the doc replied. There's no card."
Cruiser
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 132
Likes: 16
From: Palm Beach Florida
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I'll go back to town for the doctor" the other one says. He runs ten miles to the small town and finds the only doctor in the area, who is delivering a baby. "I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what you have to do. Use a small knife and cut a little X where the bite is, then suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in utter agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim asked. "He says your going to die." 
Seasoned HDF Member
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 13,456
Likes: 10,452
From: Sunshine State
Three Bikers, a Honda Rider, a BMW Rider and a Harley Rider were sitting in a sauna.
Suddenly, there was a continuing beeping sound. The Honda Rider pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my pager", he said, “I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.”
A few minutes later a phone rang. The BMW Rider lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand.”
The Harley Rider felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his ***.
The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.
The Harley Rider finally grinned and declared… “Well, will you look at that, I’m getting a fax!”
Revised to my way of telling the joke, I originally copy/pasted.
Suddenly, there was a continuing beeping sound. The Honda Rider pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my pager", he said, “I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.”
A few minutes later a phone rang. The BMW Rider lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand.”
The Harley Rider felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his ***.
The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.
The Harley Rider finally grinned and declared… “Well, will you look at that, I’m getting a fax!”
Revised to my way of telling the joke, I originally copy/pasted.
Last edited by Tampa Fatboy; May 29, 2015 at 06:52 PM.
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Lucky me on Wednesday. I rode my bike to HD Palm Beach for a service and I keep my garage clicker in a little magnetic pouch which stays on the metal of my windshield. I guess when I took it off the Springer and put it on the Heritage I didn't place it on the metal part properly.
Anyway, I'm riding on 95 and I look down and notice it's gone. I was kinda pissed but I can live without it, it just means I'd have to get off my bike to use the code. When I got to Harley would you believe the little pouch had wedged itself between the rear brake pedal and the exhaust pipe. And it hadn't even melted on the pipe. Lesson learned, make sure it's on securely next time. This pouch has sat on my bikes for 35,000 miles or so.
Anyway, I'm riding on 95 and I look down and notice it's gone. I was kinda pissed but I can live without it, it just means I'd have to get off my bike to use the code. When I got to Harley would you believe the little pouch had wedged itself between the rear brake pedal and the exhaust pipe. And it hadn't even melted on the pipe. Lesson learned, make sure it's on securely next time. This pouch has sat on my bikes for 35,000 miles or so.
Seasoned HDF Member
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 13,456
Likes: 10,452
From: Sunshine State
Lucky me on Wednesday. I rode my bike to HD Palm Beach for a service and I keep my garage clicker in a little magnetic pouch which stays on the metal of my windshield. I guess when I took it off the Springer and put it on the Heritage I didn't place it on the metal part properly.
Anyway, I'm riding on 95 and I look down and notice it's gone. I was kinda pissed but I can live without it, it just means I'd have to get off my bike to use the code. When I got to Harley would you believe the little pouch had wedged itself between the rear brake pedal and the exhaust pipe. And it hadn't even melted on the pipe. Lesson learned, make sure it's on securely next time. This pouch has sat on my bikes for 35,000 miles or so.
Anyway, I'm riding on 95 and I look down and notice it's gone. I was kinda pissed but I can live without it, it just means I'd have to get off my bike to use the code. When I got to Harley would you believe the little pouch had wedged itself between the rear brake pedal and the exhaust pipe. And it hadn't even melted on the pipe. Lesson learned, make sure it's on securely next time. This pouch has sat on my bikes for 35,000 miles or so.
Chit happens at the least expected moment, it's when you get a break you realize there is a better way. My money says you come up with something more secure. I'd be looking for a system that recognize the security code when I got within 10' of it and didn't have to push anything. I have a bud that pulls up to his gate and the dang thing sees a small sticker on his scoot and it opens right up.