Coming back from the Red River Rally this past memorial day weekend. I was following a truck who was following a crotch rocket who was following my brother who was pulling a trailer behind his EGS. Oh and my buddy was behind me on his V-Rod. We were in Colorado Springs in the constrution area going with the flow of traffic (around 65 mph) coming up on a sweeping curve when the traffic just hits their brakes. I'm trying to get my Road King slowed down and also trying to look up ahead (bad Idea)to see WTF is the reason for the sudden slow down and I see my brotheris dragging his left side fender and his back bumper from off his trailer, well I look back in front of me andand there is the truck, my bike starts sliding sideways, smoke coming from therear tire, the tire is squealing and I'm thinking, ok concrete barriers to my left, traffic on my right, I'm ****ed. By the grace of God I kept the bike up and got over without any thing or any body wrecking or anybody running myself or my brother or buddy over. We were very lucky, I got off the bike a little shaky, my buddy said he about pissed his pants watching me, but was amazed at how I kept the bike up. I learned a valuable lesson and that is to pay attention to what I need to do to avoid things like this rather than try to see WTF is going on up ahead.

 

Had a wasp fly down my back at 60 mph and stung me 7 times before I got stopped. But the worst one, I had a old lady pull out in front of me, had to slam on the brakes and slid it side ways to avoid hitting her, Needless to say I pulled up beside her andstarted tochewed her as out, and low and behold, it was my grandmother, opps................[&:]

 

Driving back from Sturgis (somewhere in eastern SD)at about 95 mph in the dead of the night, I was greatly out driving my headlights with a buddy next to me in the other lane. Out of nowhere is the back half of a deer carcass right in the middle of the road, no time to swerve the Road King. I remember seeing the hind legs, tail and the spine sticking out of the road meat. Hit it dead on...the Road King barley made a bump and I did not even swerve. However, at the next exit where we stopped to check it out, the underside of the bike was full of deer jerky, fur and blood. Slowed it WAY DOWN after that. Needed to change the shorts too. [:-]

 

Cig butt throw out a window and straight down the front of my jacket, I hate the F'rs that do that $hit.

Wasp in the face down the back of the jacket, stung many times.

Junebug square in the forehead, almost knocked me out. Luckily I got over to a paved shoulder.

Bird in the chest on a rainy road.

Most recently a turkey tried to take off from the shoulder of the roadin front of me. I ducked and I swear his wings brushed the top of my head.

 

OK, for a few little more light-hearted mishaps, I have:

been hit in the leg by a bird (okay, that hurt);

been hit in the throat by a June bug (cough, cough);

had a big Monarch butterfly smear himself across my sunglasses and face (yuck);

ridden through swarms of Japanese beetles (like getting shot with a BB gun);

but my favorite was when a wasp flew down the sleeve of my leathers, into my t-shirt sleeve and stung me in the armpit. Since it was my left armpit and I was at highway speed, I had to keep my right hand on the throttle and started trying to kill it by squsihing it in my armpit. All this did was make him drop down into my t-shirt where he stung me on the love handles. I was finally able to get to the side of the road where I jumped off the bike, ripped off my leather and pulled up my shirt. He fell onto the ground so I stomped him thoroughly, cussing up a blue streak while my girlfriend at the time looked at me like I had lost my mind.

The punch line is that my tattoo artist (I have full sleeves, etc.) tattooed a small wasp in my armpit just above the horns of my hanye mask to commemorate the occasion.

 

I was doing about 50 on the West side highway in NYC and saw a quart can of paint bouncing across the highway, looked like slow motion coming across, bounce over my front tire of my old sporty and hit me dead in my shin, OMG, cut me open, luckly it did not break it.

Another time I was riding with about 12 of the crew and I was first, stopped at a red light, the guy behind me did not stop and tried to go between us, hit me in the leg with his floor board, took a chunk right out of my leg, 4 years later looks like a bullet wound. ouch.

Let me now mention the time a buddy was trying to do a wheelie behind me and lost it, crashed into me, I broke my hand, foot and seperated my shoulder. He ripped his shirt.

Ride safe everybody, its a dangerous world out there.

 

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Coming back from Vegas to Phoenix on a two lane road,an 18 wheeler going in the opposite direction blew its rear tire.The tread hit me in the chest and took me off the bike.The bike and I both ended up in the desert.Soft sand and full leathers kept damage to a minimun.Sat on the side of the road and could not stop shaking for about a hour.Still had a 3 hour ride home.

 

...that'll make you chew on some shoe leather...

 

Had a bird cut itself in half on the top edge of my windshield(big mess).

Grasshoppers in the face really hurt at 70 mph!

T-boned by a Triumph Spitfire back in the 80's.(totalled car,rode bike home)

Nearly got wiped out by a boat that detached from the tow rig on I-90,missed me by 2-3 feet..