Charlie Daniels

 

I was takin a trip out to L.A.
Toolin along in my cheverolet
Tokin on a number and diggin on the radio

Just as I crossed the Mississippi line
I heard that highway start to whine
And I knew that left rear tire was about to blow

Well the spare was flat and I got uptight
Cause there wasn't a filling station in sight
So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim

I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
It was right in front of this little bar
Kind of a red-neck lookin joint called the Dew Drop Inn

I stuffed my hair up under my hat
And told the bartender that I had a flat
And ywould he be kind enough to give me change for a one

There was one thing I was sure proud to see
There wasn't a soul in the place except for him and me
He just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone

I called up the station down the road a ways
He said he wasn't very busy today
And he could have somone out there in just about 10 minutes or so

He said," Now, you just stay right where yer at!"
And I didn't bother to tell the darn fool
That I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go

So I ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
When some guy walked in and said, "Who owns this car
With the peace sign, the mag wheels and the four on the floor?"

He looked at me and I damn near died
And I decided that I'd just wait outside
So I laid a dollar on the bar and headed for the door

Just when I wthought I'd get outta there with my skin
These 3 big dudes come strollin in
With one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth

Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
Especially when there was three of them and only one of me

I was almost to the door when the biggest one
Said, "You tip your hat to this lady, son!"
And when I did, all that hair fell out from underneath

They all started laughin and I felt kinda sick
And I knew I better think of something pretty quick
So I just reached out and kicked old green teeth right in the knee

Now he let out a yell that'd curl yer hair
But before he could move I grabbed me a chair
And said "Now watch him Folks cause he's a fairly dangerous man!"

"You may not know it but this man is a spy.
He's a undercover agent for the FBI
And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan!"

He was still bent over holdin on to his knee
But everybody else was looking and listening to me
And I laid it on thicker hand heavier as I went

"He's a friend of them long haired, hippy-type, pinko ****!
I betchya he's even got a commie flag
tacked up on the wall inside of his garage."

"He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys.
He may look dumb but that's just a disguise,
He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage"

"Would you believe this man has gone as far
As tearing Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars.
And he voted for George McGovern for President."

They started lookin real suspicious at him
He jumped up and said "Now just wait a minute Jim!
You know he's lying I been living here all of my life!"

"I'm a faithful follower of Brother John Birch
And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church.
And I aint even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!"

Then he started saying somethin bout the way I was dressed
But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
I was too busy moving and hoping I didn't run outta luck

When I hit the door I was making tracks
And they were just taking my car down off the jacks
So I threw the man a twenty and jumped in and fired that mother up

Mario Andretti wouldda sure been proud
Of the way I was movin when I passed that crowd
Coming out the door and headed toward me at a trott

Now I guess I should of gone ahead and run
But somehow I just couldn't resist the fun
Of chasing them all just once around the parking lot

I had them all out there steppin and fetchin
Like their heads was on fire and their asses was catchin
then I figgered I had better go ahead and split before the cops got there

When I hit the road I was really wheelin
Had gravel flyin and rubber squeelin
And I didn't slow down till I was almost to Arkansas

I think I'm gonna reroute my trip
I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped
If I went to L.A., via Omaha

 

For those who never heard Uneasy Rider.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMN7fGZW_BY

 

Er... and how shouting "Vaffanculo" ("**** off" for non italians ) helps in "Not pissing anyone off"?
Well, actually in this respect I find that trying to be somewhat a philosopher helps a lot.
As Dante said, "Non ragioniam di lor, ma guarda e passa", and so you just let 'em go, trying to give them as wide a berth as the road allows...

 

Hehehe! I'm Italian, so I know very well our "funny temper"
We say somebody has a "straw tail" to mean he "catches fire" easily. About my brother I usually say "he has not a straw tail, he's got a fuse"

 

Want some real fun try the Phillippines.

 

My wife doesn't think my Italian temper is funny though!

 

I feel for you my Italian friend. We were in Italy a couple of years ago and it was a frightening place to even think about driving. Granted, we were in Rome but congestion and traffic was nothing I had ever seen, even in New York.
Get out of town and far away. On the positive side, Rome was the most beautiful place I have ever been. You are lucky to live in a country with so much history. I would love to go back to Italy again.
I will have a biera, grazia
Good luck and be safe.
MikeM

 

The exact reason I reside in Montana. Been there, and done that. All I can say, if you HAVE to be there, is AIR HORN!! The horns over there make me crazy, but if you're in the game you might as well play by their rules.... Easy to install, and great safety feature.