Opinions/Advice requested
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Joined: Jan 2006
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From: Nor Cal's East Bay
Opinions/Advice requested
Hi All,
I'm pretty new to the forum and have been doing more reading than contributing. I've read quite a bit about the struggles to satisfy passengers (wives in many cases). Since I purchased my first Harley ('05 FXDI) in March of '05, I've been trying to get my wife to ride with me. She has refused. I've stepped up my efforts after selling the FXDI and buying a new '06 FXDLI. I just love it and want to share the ride with her. She still refuses. I won't push her to do something she doesn't want to do. My concern is...am I making a big mistake? It seems the more I read these forums, the more I think of that old phrase, "be careful what you wish for"...any opinions or advice. Should I continue to prod her to ride while maintaining a posture of never forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do OR should I leave well enough alone and consider it good fortune. Thanks in advance for any input.
I'm pretty new to the forum and have been doing more reading than contributing. I've read quite a bit about the struggles to satisfy passengers (wives in many cases). Since I purchased my first Harley ('05 FXDI) in March of '05, I've been trying to get my wife to ride with me. She has refused. I've stepped up my efforts after selling the FXDI and buying a new '06 FXDLI. I just love it and want to share the ride with her. She still refuses. I won't push her to do something she doesn't want to do. My concern is...am I making a big mistake? It seems the more I read these forums, the more I think of that old phrase, "be careful what you wish for"...any opinions or advice. Should I continue to prod her to ride while maintaining a posture of never forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do OR should I leave well enough alone and consider it good fortune. Thanks in advance for any input.
Seasoned HDF Member
Joined: Jan 2005
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From:
RE: Opinions/Advice requested
Personally, I would let her make the decision and not force it, that could be a mistake. My wife doesn't want to ride with me and I understand why. Your wife might not share your enthusiasm for your Harley. Maybe she will change in time and maybe she won't. Good luck
Advanced
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 91
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From: Southern, Md
RE: Opinions/Advice requested
do you have friends that you ride with, and do there wives ride with them, and let her know if you dont like it you dont have to ride anymore. just try it once. maybe she will like it enough to ride with you when the other wives ride and still let you have that freedom to ride by yourself when you want to. myself i get out there more by myself than i do with mine. wife..
Road Warrior
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,561
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From:
RE: Opinions/Advice requested
Dave, I'm in a very similar situation, although I still have the '05 FXDI. My wife saw a vey bad motorcycle accident when she was somewhere between 8 and 10 and ger parents always taled down people who owned motorcycles. (All right, she's 52, but her Dad's voice is still in her head).
The first 6 months it was "You can do whatever you want, but I'm surprised we aren't divorced with you having a motorcycle" Now she has been happy for me when I've been able to ride several times this winter,
I) got her to buy parts for my bike for my B-day last year (Kuryakin grips...so I'd always think of her when on the bike!
This year for my B-day or anniversary, I think that I'm going to ask her to go for a 2 or 3 mile ride with me as a present...or perhaps drive over the MSF parking lot where there's no traffic at all and just ride aroound with me for 10 minutes so that she can experience it.
Don't know if it will work or not. Like you, not sure that I want it to work too well.
Also, we're planning a mini-rally here in IL and I'm trying to talk her into following me in the car to that to meet some of the people that I talk about.
On the whole, my only major complaint re: my wife not riding is that it cuts down on my week-end riding.
Best wishes and let me know what happens. Art
The first 6 months it was "You can do whatever you want, but I'm surprised we aren't divorced with you having a motorcycle" Now she has been happy for me when I've been able to ride several times this winter,
I) got her to buy parts for my bike for my B-day last year (Kuryakin grips...so I'd always think of her when on the bike!
This year for my B-day or anniversary, I think that I'm going to ask her to go for a 2 or 3 mile ride with me as a present...or perhaps drive over the MSF parking lot where there's no traffic at all and just ride aroound with me for 10 minutes so that she can experience it.
Don't know if it will work or not. Like you, not sure that I want it to work too well.
Also, we're planning a mini-rally here in IL and I'm trying to talk her into following me in the car to that to meet some of the people that I talk about.
On the whole, my only major complaint re: my wife not riding is that it cuts down on my week-end riding.
Best wishes and let me know what happens. Art
Cruiser
Joined: Jan 2006
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From:
RE: Opinions/Advice requested
. I'm in the same situation with my spouse. No interest at all in riding. Let the topic go. If she changes her mind she will let you know. Just talk about the things you did and saw while riding and she might change her mind.
Cruiser
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 134
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RE: Opinions/Advice requested
My wife used to ride a small dirt bike while growing up, but now doesn't want to ride at all. Just not her thing. The guys I normally ride with also have wives that don't ride. Look on the bright side, some bikes look good or even better with solo seats! [sm=biker2.gif]
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Big Kahuna HDF Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 23,881
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From: USA
RE: Opinions/Advice requested
Wow, thanks for asking this question! I thought I was the only guy out there whose wife is afraid to ride. I have coaxed my wife out once but she was on pins and needles the whole time. So what now? I keep joking with her that she is going to have to get over it if we are going to ride to Sturgis together this year (1200 miles each way). But, if she would go to bike night this Summer which is a 12 mile ride I would be happy. If anyone out there has any suggestions I am all ears. KB[sm=smiley25.gif]
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Intermediate
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 33
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From: Oklahoma
RE: Opinions/Advice requested
You might tell her about how sick you are of having to explain why, since your married, you have to limit them all to one ride each so as not to become too emotionally attached.