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Dude, I don't want to hurt your feelings but is this a real question?? (quote: "I been on bikes long enough")
I recommend your "GF" get on the forum, there is a treasure trove of information for riders of all levels, and nobody cares what level you're at. We all here to help each other.
NOZEM, no hurt feelings. You asked is this a real question? It seems more like a statement or precursor to say I wanted to get her setup right with none of my possible bad habits transferred to her.
The reason I ask is we are also into mountain biking, if you can call it moutain biking in central TX. With bicycles, there are some preliminary setups to make it safer and more efficient i.e seat height, shock preload, lever position, handle bar height.
The only thing I can suggest is have her sit on a bike with mini apes to see if she likes sitting up straighter.Shock preload is just how stiff you want the suspension. Riding solo start with 1 or 2, 4&5 probably too stiff.
If the bike is stock, it should have "dimpled" bars; that's where the external wiring comes out of the hand-controls. You can move the levers anywhere it's comfy for her, just don't pinch the wires. Seat hight you can't adjust, different seat have different characteristics. You can adjust the "pull-back" on the bars somewhat, you can't adjust the height without adding risers. Stock risers are 1" high. I hope this answers your question.
Sorry I was a bit snappy yesterday dude.
I think the general rule of thumb is adjust everything to where she's most comfortable as long as those adjustments keep the items in their safe working range (meaning don't adjust the brake pedal so that she can't fully depress it).
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