Hate to see her go, but!
Road Captain
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 593
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From: The real UPstate. ‘daks!
RE: Hate to see her go, but!
For the life of me I have never understood this philosophy, people bust their **** to put give their kids funds for college, kid graduates, gets out of school and usually gets a good paying job. What in God's name has this taught the kid? Responsiblity, everything in life is easy? and you should get chit handed to you? Bullchit. It's one thing to help your child out, but to give up something that you enjoy and to put your life on hold for them after you've paid your dues and worked for what you have is wrong. Sorry, but when I read my parent manual before I had my daughter, nowhere in there did it say, put your life on hold for your child and you'll be a great parent! Tim
Road Captain
Joined: Sep 2006
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From:
RE: Hate to see her go, but!
ORIGINAL: TimmerK
For the life of me I have never understood this philosophy, people bust their **** to put give their kids funds for college, kid graduates, gets out of school and usually gets a good paying job. What in God's name has this taught the kid? Responsiblity, everything in life is easy? and you should get chit handed to you? Bullchit. It's one thing to help your child out, but to give up something that you enjoy and to put your life on hold for them after you've paid your dues and worked for what you have is wrong. Sorry, but when I read my parent manual before I had my daughter, nowhere in there did it say, put your life on hold for your child and you'll be a great parent! Tim
For the life of me I have never understood this philosophy, people bust their **** to put give their kids funds for college, kid graduates, gets out of school and usually gets a good paying job. What in God's name has this taught the kid? Responsiblity, everything in life is easy? and you should get chit handed to you? Bullchit. It's one thing to help your child out, but to give up something that you enjoy and to put your life on hold for them after you've paid your dues and worked for what you have is wrong. Sorry, but when I read my parent manual before I had my daughter, nowhere in there did it say, put your life on hold for your child and you'll be a great parent! Tim
I am only 37, but guess I am 50 somethin' in the brain at times. I am fed up with modern America and handing kids everything on a platter!!! Most people I know under 29 years old think society owes them this or that, and if there's a bump in what they perceive as how life should go, they BLAME someone else. There is no accountability or responsibility for people's action anymore.
If it came down to my kids health and welfare...clothes, a roof over their head and food, then I'd sell something. But I started delivering newsapers when I was 11 (lied and said I was 12). Got my first real job fixing lawn equipment at a hdwe store when I was 15. I have worked ever since. Paid my way through some college I needed to get/keep my dyno job.
What do I see now? Parents DRIVING their kids on a paper route? It has to cost more in gas than the kid makes. 0º or 100º F, I was carrying 80+ papers on my bike. Paid for my own vehicles growing up, my own toys, and my clothes from 16 & up. Am I bitter? Nope! I appreciate what I have am darn proud of my hard work!
The moral or my stance...I busted my rear to have what I have today, not giving it up. Sure my parents helped where they could. But I come from a Blue Collar one income Leave it To Beaver type upbringing. And my Dad raced...he worked many 7 / twelves to support us and have his fun too. So, I will give the kids a place to stay rent free while attending College if they choose too. But they will handle the rest themselves.
Road Captain
Joined: Sep 2006
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RE: Hate to see her go, but!
I did forget something ... I am not a complete SOB. I did start an Education IRA for my daughter when she was born. I put $XXXX in and it is growing well, hopefull it will be enough for a 2 year start by age 18. It's what I could afford at the time.
Michigan offers a pay up front program also. You can sign up to pay in full for college for your child. It is a monthly payment over the time from their current age up to 18. BUT! It has to be a school in Michigan. What if they don't want to go here? You get money back, but not all of it. Sort of a crap shoot. Lastly, GOD FORBID, if anything happens to my parents before my daughter's college age, I will have survivors rights to our joint vacation home "up north". I no longer care to go there anymore than I have to, so I could sell that to help her out. In a round about way, my parents would be paying for it then. As I only contributed 20% cash to the current value.
Michigan offers a pay up front program also. You can sign up to pay in full for college for your child. It is a monthly payment over the time from their current age up to 18. BUT! It has to be a school in Michigan. What if they don't want to go here? You get money back, but not all of it. Sort of a crap shoot. Lastly, GOD FORBID, if anything happens to my parents before my daughter's college age, I will have survivors rights to our joint vacation home "up north". I no longer care to go there anymore than I have to, so I could sell that to help her out. In a round about way, my parents would be paying for it then. As I only contributed 20% cash to the current value.
Big Kahuna HDF Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 23,881
Likes: 34
From: USA
RE: Hate to see her go, but!
I put myself through College and so did the wife BUT we have invested a ton of $$ for the kids education. The older I get the more trouble I see people who have no BS degree having making a living.......I learned a trade out of school then started to school at nights. So, I don't want that life for my children. We have them all in private school and then off to private College or University. That is the standard we have decided on for our family and we tell them we expect them to do the same for their children as well. I could leave them money but I would rather educate them and then let them fly on their own from the nest........they don't need the school of hard knocks IMO. 
Road Captain
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 543
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From:
RE: Hate to see her go, but!
ORIGINAL: KBFXDLI
I put myself through College and so did the wife BUT we have invested a ton of $$ for the kids education. The older I get the more trouble I see people who have no BS degree having making a living.......I learned a trade out of school then started to school at nights. So, I don't want that life for my children. We have them all in private school and then off to private College or University. That is the standard we have decided on for our family and we tell them we expect them to do the same for their children as well. I could leave them money but I would rather educate them and then let them fly on their own from the nest........they don't need the school of hard knocks IMO.
I put myself through College and so did the wife BUT we have invested a ton of $$ for the kids education. The older I get the more trouble I see people who have no BS degree having making a living.......I learned a trade out of school then started to school at nights. So, I don't want that life for my children. We have them all in private school and then off to private College or University. That is the standard we have decided on for our family and we tell them we expect them to do the same for their children as well. I could leave them money but I would rather educate them and then let them fly on their own from the nest........they don't need the school of hard knocks IMO.
After today's events at work (now unemployed...great auto industry in Michigan), I think you have made me do a 180º turn on my thinking. I thought I was pretty secure. Maybe to confident. I was hoping for at least 2-3 more years while my wife changed careers, then I would follow. Not so lucky. Seems I was overpaid with to much seniority, anyone with 5+ years has a target on their back it seems. Contract guys will work more hours for less $$$, without paid vacation time. Here I thought working through the weekend and lunch to keep things going was the right thing to do? That is 4 of us in the last 6 months and 7 in the last 3 years that had the most seniority. On the plus side, not one has left and done worse elsewhere, some of which changed careers [sm=confused06.gif]
Now, how do I make enough money to make sure my daughter can not go through what I am? I have to be sure to steer her clear of Michigan and the US Automotive Industry for starters.
Looks like I may have a bike FOR SALE soon too [sm=sigh.gif] I don't want to break her heart at age 6 though by selling the bike. She is nuts about it. The "Musfang" too.
Someone tell me these things work out...[sm=dontgetit.gif]
Road Master
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,246
Likes: 1
From: T-City, Wa.
RE: Hate to see her go, but!
SRob,
You said that you may have to sell her cause you cannot aford her, I assume you are talking about the bike. (Sorry, just could not resist, just a funny
)
Seriously though. I put myself through school and am glad that I did. It really has taught me alot about "Pay for what you get". If my parents would have paid for me I am sure that I can tell you that I would have done alot more parting than I did and I did enough while I was there paying for it myself. As others have said here, you work for lifetime dam near, your life not your kids. Parents are to teach thier kids how to figure out a problem, (in this case money/loans for school) and then how to solve the problem. If you just give them the money to get through school and it puts a burden on you then what are you teaching your kids? How when a problem comes up if you choose I your parent will solve it for you, as long as I am here. Just a little something to think on.
PS I meant nothing bad by my funny and no disrespect to anyone either.
Keep the bike and stay in the family.
You said that you may have to sell her cause you cannot aford her, I assume you are talking about the bike. (Sorry, just could not resist, just a funny
)Seriously though. I put myself through school and am glad that I did. It really has taught me alot about "Pay for what you get". If my parents would have paid for me I am sure that I can tell you that I would have done alot more parting than I did and I did enough while I was there paying for it myself. As others have said here, you work for lifetime dam near, your life not your kids. Parents are to teach thier kids how to figure out a problem, (in this case money/loans for school) and then how to solve the problem. If you just give them the money to get through school and it puts a burden on you then what are you teaching your kids? How when a problem comes up if you choose I your parent will solve it for you, as long as I am here. Just a little something to think on.
PS I meant nothing bad by my funny and no disrespect to anyone either.
Keep the bike and stay in the family.
Road Master
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,219
Likes: 2
From: Indianapolis
RE: Hate to see her go, but!
I have 2 in college currently...one at a Private school and one at a state school. We agreed with the oldest if she wanted to go to the private school we would pay the state school equivalant so she is racking up the student loan debt. I would do whatever I had to to assure they would have it better than me. But I just bought the new bike in the spring of 05, while they were in college. The kicker in my situation is that my company just anounced it was closing at years end. so that prety much sucks...I will figure something out tho.
Road Master
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,219
Likes: 2
From: Indianapolis
RE: Hate to see her go, but!
Like I said above beagle...that was they way I looked at the problem as well. I will be loosing my job shortly after the first of the year with my seniority I should be one of the last ones to turn out the lights. I am hoping to better my situation like many of the ones that have left ahead of me also. I think I also will be shying away from the auto industry, but it has been very good to us.
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Road Captain
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 543
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From:
RE: Hate to see her go, but!
ORIGINAL: scttgr8
Like I said above beagle...that was they way I looked at the problem as well. I will be loosing my job shortly after the first of the year with my seniority I should be one of the last ones to turn out the lights. I am hoping to better my situation like many of the ones that have left ahead of me also. I think I also will be shying away from the auto industry, but it has been very good to us.
Like I said above beagle...that was they way I looked at the problem as well. I will be loosing my job shortly after the first of the year with my seniority I should be one of the last ones to turn out the lights. I am hoping to better my situation like many of the ones that have left ahead of me also. I think I also will be shying away from the auto industry, but it has been very good to us.
I tell my wife all the time, our job is to teach the kids all we can about life so if something happened to us tomorrow we will have done the best we could to prepare them for life. (I say kids because I have 2 step children I love as my own, and one 6 year old. The step kids are handled by their real Dad for school. But even he is making them "think" they have to pay their own way, then he will pay off their loans when the graduate).
I am reallly thankful this thread was started. It has made me reflect inward and re-evaluate things.
