Dilema - Advice needed
Outstanding HDF Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,972
Likes: 1
From: King William, VA.
have a professional teach her the correct way to ride and support her. my s/o of 20 years learned to ride and led a group of us to Daytona 3 times, then she found back seat driving again and sold her ride so she could sit behind me and tell me how I was screwing up all the time
Outstanding HDF Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,227
Likes: 5
I'll guarantee this has been discussed but honestly, I'm too lazy to search for it. So here is the question, I'm split on something -- My wife loves to ride with me. It's a time that we get to spend together, we enjoy that camaraderie and having "Mom and Dad" time and the places we get to see.
But lately, she's been acting strange. She's mentioned that she was going to surprise me by signing up for our local motorcycle safety course so that she could show me she could ride. Now, when I joke about her getting one - she doesn't do the standard dismiss, "Whatever, I would never ride" SHE WOULD DO IT and I think she's really contemplating it.
Here's my fear... I'm worried about her never have ridden a bike. I'm worried that she might hurt herself or get hurt. I'm SO worried about it that I think it would distract me from enjoying my ride.
If she wanted to ride or buy a bike, I would support her because I always have. But MAN, that scares me s**tless.
I would be so proud riding alongside her but I would constantly be freaking out.
Can anyone shine light on this if you've been in this situation or even if you just have an opionion about it?
But lately, she's been acting strange. She's mentioned that she was going to surprise me by signing up for our local motorcycle safety course so that she could show me she could ride. Now, when I joke about her getting one - she doesn't do the standard dismiss, "Whatever, I would never ride" SHE WOULD DO IT and I think she's really contemplating it.
Here's my fear... I'm worried about her never have ridden a bike. I'm worried that she might hurt herself or get hurt. I'm SO worried about it that I think it would distract me from enjoying my ride.
If she wanted to ride or buy a bike, I would support her because I always have. But MAN, that scares me s**tless.
I would be so proud riding alongside her but I would constantly be freaking out.
Can anyone shine light on this if you've been in this situation or even if you just have an opionion about it?
I know exactly what you are talking about.
My wife decided she wanted to learn to ride. The next day I bought her a Yamaha 650 and began teaching her myself. We live on 4 acres on a cul de sac and she began riding in the backyard. Figure 8's around the trees, using the clutch on grades etc. She then graduated to the streets in our subdivision and laid it down a few times at the end of the cul de sac.
I had quit smoking a few years prior to this and began again during this time frame. My nerves were on edge.
That was almost 4 years ago and we now ride every where together. It is something we can and will be able to do together for years to come.
Last Sunday we put almost 400 miles on the bikes and she was loving every mile of it. She thanks me constantly for allowing and teaching her to ride. I still get nervous at times, after all she is a woman driver..
but she is a competent and safe driver/rider. She has stated that she thinks she is a better cage driver now as a result.If this is something she wants to do support her and help her. It will be tough at times but in the long run it's worth it.
The other bright side is road trips. I didn't realize how much crap a woman can pack. She has her saddle bags and T bag loaded down with stuff and I grab an overnight bag and strap it to mine.
Elite HDF Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,415
Likes: 5
From: San Antonio, Republic of TEXAS
I'll guarantee this has been discussed but honestly, I'm too lazy to search for it. So here is the question, I'm split on something -- My wife loves to ride with me. It's a time that we get to spend together, we enjoy that camaraderie and having "Mom and Dad" time and the places we get to see.
But lately, she's been acting strange. She's mentioned that she was going to surprise me by signing up for our local motorcycle safety course so that she could show me she could ride. Now, when I joke about her getting one - she doesn't do the standard dismiss, "Whatever, I would never ride" SHE WOULD DO IT and I think she's really contemplating it.
Here's my fear... I'm worried about her never have ridden a bike. I'm worried that she might hurt herself or get hurt. I'm SO worried about it that I think it would distract me from enjoying my ride.
If she wanted to ride or buy a bike, I would support her because I always have. But MAN, that scares me s**tless.
I would be so proud riding alongside her but I would constantly be freaking out.
Can anyone shine light on this if you've been in this situation or even if you just have an opionion about it?
But lately, she's been acting strange. She's mentioned that she was going to surprise me by signing up for our local motorcycle safety course so that she could show me she could ride. Now, when I joke about her getting one - she doesn't do the standard dismiss, "Whatever, I would never ride" SHE WOULD DO IT and I think she's really contemplating it.
Here's my fear... I'm worried about her never have ridden a bike. I'm worried that she might hurt herself or get hurt. I'm SO worried about it that I think it would distract me from enjoying my ride.
If she wanted to ride or buy a bike, I would support her because I always have. But MAN, that scares me s**tless.
I would be so proud riding alongside her but I would constantly be freaking out.
Can anyone shine light on this if you've been in this situation or even if you just have an opionion about it?
Cruiser
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 186
Likes: 0
My wife wanted to ride at 50yrs so took the MSF. She then started on a 750cc and has since upgraded to a Honda 1100 & loves it. We just retuned from a 3000mile trip. It was great, she loved it & is already asking where we are going next year. If we did a ride in town after checking into motel she would usually ride on my bike. I try to watch over her a fair bit and sometimes that gets me into a hazardous situation, so I am learning to just have faith in her skills and road sense. Every so often I will make a suggestion and she is always gratefull for the input. But I make sure she is riding her own ride.
Banned
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 5,258
Likes: 2
From: AZ
I wouldn't underestimate your wifes ability to learn this sport, and become proficient at it, and be a good safe rider. Once she has taken the course she will know if she wants to be the rider or the passenger. Most every woman I've ever known that wants to see if they want to ride their own, takes the course and either says yes, or no!
It's normal for both of us, wife, and husband to be fearful of one another being hurt, or killed. But some of that goes away when we see that their skills are good, they are being safe and can control the beast with ease.
Unfortunately, we can't get rid of traffic! So we have to be the best riders of all in it. Most women I know are very cautious, safety oriented, and don't rush it.
So wait until your wife takes the course, see how she feels about the whole thing, and I guarantee you that if she loves it and shes good at it, your fears will subside. Not completely, but to the point you love riding alongside her.
Good luck to her! Love seeing more women get involved in riding their own!
It's normal for both of us, wife, and husband to be fearful of one another being hurt, or killed. But some of that goes away when we see that their skills are good, they are being safe and can control the beast with ease.
Unfortunately, we can't get rid of traffic! So we have to be the best riders of all in it. Most women I know are very cautious, safety oriented, and don't rush it.
So wait until your wife takes the course, see how she feels about the whole thing, and I guarantee you that if she loves it and shes good at it, your fears will subside. Not completely, but to the point you love riding alongside her.
Good luck to her! Love seeing more women get involved in riding their own!
Road Master
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 775
Likes: 0
From: Louavul, KY
I went through this just this past spring. She had never ridden before either. I bought her a little 250 Rebel for a thousand bucks. Taught her all the basics, let her practice on our street, for like 3 days. She gradually made her way around the block, and then to the school yard. a LOT of practice, and I was VERY patient with her. She rides with me now on short runs (50-60) miles. She has gained a lot of confidence in the last 6 months and she absolutely loves it!
On the other hand, I'M A NERVOUS WRECK! It literally wears me out to ride with her. I always have to be on high alert, because I now have twice the responsibility. I realize that there is only so much I can do to protect her, but it was HER choice to ride. She has ridden to a few bike nights with me, and really gets off on riding her own. She does get a few funny looks from some people, especially the 2up ladies, but I think it is either jealousy or admiration.
On a different note, she now wants a Street Bob to match mine!
WTF did I get myself into?
Nobody gets out of this alive, so we are going to make the best of it while we're here.
So, yes I am in the market for HER Street Bob!!!
xmarine
On the other hand, I'M A NERVOUS WRECK! It literally wears me out to ride with her. I always have to be on high alert, because I now have twice the responsibility. I realize that there is only so much I can do to protect her, but it was HER choice to ride. She has ridden to a few bike nights with me, and really gets off on riding her own. She does get a few funny looks from some people, especially the 2up ladies, but I think it is either jealousy or admiration.
On a different note, she now wants a Street Bob to match mine!
WTF did I get myself into?
Nobody gets out of this alive, so we are going to make the best of it while we're here.
So, yes I am in the market for HER Street Bob!!!
xmarine
Last edited by xmarine; Sep 10, 2008 at 10:27 AM.
Road Master
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,016
Likes: 0
From: Dikes, windmills & wooden shoes
I went through this just this past spring. She had never ridden before either. I bought her a little 250 Rebel for a thousand bucks. Taught her all the basics, let her practice on our street, for like 3 days. She gradually made her way around the block, and then to the school yard. a LOT of practice, and I was VERY patient with her. She rides with me now on short runs (50-60) miles. She has gained a lot of confidence in the last 6 months and she absolutely loves it!
On the other hand, I'M A NERVOUS WRECK! It literally wears me out to ride with her. I always have to be on high alert, because I now have twice the responsibility. I realize that there is only so much I can do to protect her, but it was HER choice to ride. She has ridden to a few bike nights with me, and really gets off on riding her own. She does get a few funny looks from some people, especially the 2up ladies, but I think it is either jealousy or admiration.
On a different note, she now wants a Street Bob to match mine!
WTF did I get myself into?
Nobody gets out of this alive, so we are going to make the best of it while we're here.
So, yes I am in the market for HER Street Bob!!!
xmarine
On the other hand, I'M A NERVOUS WRECK! It literally wears me out to ride with her. I always have to be on high alert, because I now have twice the responsibility. I realize that there is only so much I can do to protect her, but it was HER choice to ride. She has ridden to a few bike nights with me, and really gets off on riding her own. She does get a few funny looks from some people, especially the 2up ladies, but I think it is either jealousy or admiration.
On a different note, she now wants a Street Bob to match mine!
WTF did I get myself into?
Nobody gets out of this alive, so we are going to make the best of it while we're here.
So, yes I am in the market for HER Street Bob!!!
xmarine
By the way, one other thing - no such thing as an xmarine. Semper fi
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Ultimate HDF Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 8,642
Likes: 6
From: Forest Lake, Mn
First of all, you have to realize, Momma is a horsechit 'cage' driver. Speeds, she uses the brakes like a madman. That said, she (atually, WE) took the course 3 yrs ago. But she was still hestitatnt. This spring, she says she'd like to ride. (Amazing what a hardtail can do to ppls thought process ) Scored an 05 Zuki 250. She got on, and has logged more miles than me this summer. Rode in rain, downpours and tornado, Hugo, Mn, her first major road ride. And she is doing just fantastic. But her cage skills still suffer incredibly. 
Go figure.
Put her in the course, and then in the saddle.
We were all 'rookies' Unfortunately, some still are. 
) Scored an 05 Zuki 250. She got on, and has logged more miles than me this summer. Rode in rain, downpours and tornado, Hugo, Mn, her first major road ride. And she is doing just fantastic. But her cage skills still suffer incredibly. Go figure. Put her in the course, and then in the saddle.
We were all 'rookies' Unfortunately, some still are.
Thread Starter
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Tourer
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 362
Likes: 2
From: None of your business
That being said, the majority of responses I have received have been great. I always want to support her in anything she does and I respect that she's considering sharing this hobby I love.
Thanks again for all the great advice from everyone!