A wee joke fer ya
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Road Warrior
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,277
Likes: 1
From: Haney, British Columbia
A wee joke fer ya
STOPPED FOR SPEEDING
A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
Club Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 112,202
Likes: 1,316
From: On a hill among the hills, PA
Here's one back at ya!
Young lady, nurse riding to work one beautiful afternoon hit a nice straight stretch of road and since it was so nice decided to crank it up a little.
She passes under an overpass and sure enough there is the local sheriff sitting there with his radar gun.
Well he takes chase and pulls her over about a mile down the road
He asks her why she is doing 20+ over the speed limit and she replies
I am a nurse down at the hospital and they need my special help!
He asks what she was needed for that was so special??
She tells him that she is a rectum stretcher!
He says What??
She says yep I go in and I get my fingers in there and start stretching till I get both hands in there and keep on stretchin till its about six foot wide!
He asks now what would you do with a six foot $sshole??
She says.... I put it in a uniform and hide it behind that overpass with a radar gun!!!
Young lady, nurse riding to work one beautiful afternoon hit a nice straight stretch of road and since it was so nice decided to crank it up a little.
She passes under an overpass and sure enough there is the local sheriff sitting there with his radar gun.
Well he takes chase and pulls her over about a mile down the road
He asks her why she is doing 20+ over the speed limit and she replies
I am a nurse down at the hospital and they need my special help!
He asks what she was needed for that was so special??
She tells him that she is a rectum stretcher!
He says What??
She says yep I go in and I get my fingers in there and start stretching till I get both hands in there and keep on stretchin till its about six foot wide!
He asks now what would you do with a six foot $sshole??
She says.... I put it in a uniform and hide it behind that overpass with a radar gun!!!
Outstanding HDF Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,762
Likes: 22
From: right down from the FloraBama
An embarrassed biker was having a horrible time with monkey butt.
He tried everything. Preparation H, a new gel saddle, even bought one of those feece seat covers.
Nothing worked.
When he couldn't stand it any longer, he visited the doctor.
"My, my!" the doc exclaimed. "I see the problem, there's a string hanging out of your rectum."
"Pull it out," the biker said.
So the doc gave it a yank and out popped a bouquet of flowers.
"Where the hell did that come from?" the surprised biker asked.
"How should I now' the doc replied. 'There's no card."
He tried everything. Preparation H, a new gel saddle, even bought one of those feece seat covers.
Nothing worked.
When he couldn't stand it any longer, he visited the doctor.
"My, my!" the doc exclaimed. "I see the problem, there's a string hanging out of your rectum."
"Pull it out," the biker said.
So the doc gave it a yank and out popped a bouquet of flowers.
"Where the hell did that come from?" the surprised biker asked.
"How should I now' the doc replied. 'There's no card."
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