Dosen't want to ride.
Road Warrior
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,959
Likes: 1
From: Southeastern North Carolina
I know how your lady feels. I got my M endorsement after taking the course in 2004. Rode for awhile, changed my mind, sold the bike. In 2008 I changed my mind again, bought another bike then changed my mind again. I think I felt the first time defeated me and I was bound and determined to prove something to myself. Once I did, I enjoyed it a bit, then lost interest in riding my own. I had MUCH rather be sitting on the back with my husband, holding onto him and enjoying the sites. To me, it's a greater stress relief than riding my own. And believe me, I need stress relief in my life. My husband is very patient with me and my whims, but I do think I've made my final decision once and for all. I LOVE to ride...just on the back please. 
Let her make her own decision and don't push her. It sounds to me that's the way you will go just like my husband does.
Let her make her own decision and don't push her. It sounds to me that's the way you will go just like my husband does.
Extreme HDF Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 10,471
Likes: 1
From: Heart of Missouri
My dad , and his wife, rode many miles with her on the back. Then, they picked up a bike for her. They rode side by side one season. I remember my dad telling me it's the worst thing he ever did for that season was one of constant fear for her while they were riding. He said she did fine but he was driving lousy as he was more concerned for her than watching his own driving. He felt totally distracted all the time. They both decided to go back to 2 up. My wife loves to ride but has no interest in having her own. She zones out on the back..enjoying the sights/sounds. To each their own.
Seasoned HDF Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 10,946
Likes: 817
From: Nevada
It's frustrating, however. I bought an Ultra Classic with visions of us touring the country together. Now, I can't get her to ride beyond the zip code. Perhaps I should have bought a Wide Glide after all.
Cruiser
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 233
Likes: 0
From: s.w. wisconsin
You don't have a pillion, you have a love seat! 
OP, one question. When you were helping her, were you overly critical at any time? Seems funny that she just up and stopped riding without something happening that turned her off it.
If it were me, I'd let it sit for a while. The bike won't depreciate, and over time, she may decide she wants to try it again. But do not push her. Don't even mention it. Just every once in a while, bring it out and clean it up. Her seeing it will be the most torture if she really wants to ride.
OP, one question. When you were helping her, were you overly critical at any time? Seems funny that she just up and stopped riding without something happening that turned her off it.
If it were me, I'd let it sit for a while. The bike won't depreciate, and over time, she may decide she wants to try it again. But do not push her. Don't even mention it. Just every once in a while, bring it out and clean it up. Her seeing it will be the most torture if she really wants to ride.
op, after reading your post about the traffic i would also suggest you keep the scoot for a while and pull it out now and then. how far from the country/ less traveled roads are you. maybe you have a friend who lives in the country where you could park the bike and progress from there. the first time i road a big bike was after many years of no bike. i made a beeline for the country roads and the fourty miles home and was shaking like a leaf when i got there. get her to the less traveled roads on the back of your scoot and let her come up with the idea maybe. but be sure not to push it.
good luck
Outstanding HDF Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,972
Likes: 1
From: King William, VA.
my S/O rode her own for years then we took a trip and she rode 2 up. Upon arriving home she ask if I would be mad if she just rode on my back and she never drove again that was about 15 years ago.Don,t push her she may come around.
Ultimate HDF Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 8,642
Likes: 6
From: Forest Lake, Mn
She was DONE!
Then, the next year, she wanted to take the course. IT was another 2 yrs before she said she wanted to ride her own. I horse traded a crash project I had, for a 2005 Suzuki GS250.
She sat on it, fell in LOVE with it (light, nimble, NOT intimidating) In 2 weeks, she was riding thru a downpour, on a major highway, following me. I asked her if she wanted to go home. BIG CHIT EATING GRIN, No!!
She logged over 3500 on it last summer. Even had it 'pack' riding with the BSMC on I-35.
Tim (TIMA) just bought his wife one this winter. With the saddlebarges I put on it, I have a grand total of 'bout $1400 into it.
Just bought her a Sporty for Christmas, and am redoing the blinkers, tail light, saddlebarges, and seat. She will tell you exactly how many days until April 1.
She is PUMPED !! It's GREAT !!
But I can tell you this, that summer when she said she was DONE, after having 'wrestled' a bike too tall and top heavy for her to learn on, I never thought she would be where she is at, after really, one riding season.
IT was well worth the wait.
That's how it worked, up here, with HER, anywho. And maybe you should know, she is a very STUBBORN, independent, rebellious, Gramma.
THAT'S why when she wanted to learn, she heard, "Take the course."
She can tell them to "Go to H*ll" instead of me.
AND SHE DAMMD NEAR DID on day two of the riding portion. 
Road Warrior
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,763
Likes: 5
From: Minnesota
I agree, keep that sporty and turn it into a screamer for some fun twisties. Solo seat, drag bars, some motor upgrades and Sportys are a lot of fun.
HD Forum Stories
The Best of Harley-Davidson for Lifelong Riders
8 Best Harley-Davidson Motorcycles Ever
Pouria Savadkouei
10 Worst Harley-Davidson Motorcycles Ever
Pouria Savadkouei
Killer Custom's Jail Break Is The Breakout That Refused to Blend In
Verdad Gallardo
Crazy Bunderbike Build Looks Amazing, But Is It Impossible to Ride?
Verdad Gallardo
Harley-Davidson Reveals Super Cool Cafe Racer Concept
Verdad Gallardo
Engraved Rebellion: Inside Bundnerbike's Glam Rock II
Verdad Gallardo
10 Motorcycles You Should Never Buy
Joe Kucinski
10 Things Harley-Davidson Needs to Fix in 2026
Verdad Gallardo
Southpaw Super Glide: A Left-Hand-Drive 1979 Harley FXE Built to Fit the Rider
Verdad Gallardo
Madame Moderator
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 25,140
Likes: 12
From: The Peach State
Just be glad she still wants to be on the bike with you. I wouldn't push it. Just like with horses: if you get bucked off and still want to get back on, then yeah, you're horsecrazy and have the bug. But if you come off or get spooked and don't want to get back on. You're done and that's the right decision for you. If your wife got into an uncomfortable situation and that inner voice was telling her she doesn't like this and doesn't want to do this, then I'd respect her decision and just be happy to have her on the back with you. My .02 and worth only that much. 
Tourer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 352
Likes: 0
From: Greenwood, IN
Problem I have is that my wife believes she is too heavy to ride on the back of the ultra. Probably gained 100lbs having three children...just has that metabolism and is not active.
After watching the rest of our family (5 bikes with my grown kids and son-in-law) have such a great time, she decided to buy a bike last year. She found a Vulcan 900 classic with heal-toe shifter, highway bars, windshield and triple front light set. Looks like a much bigger bike but is lighter and lower to the ground. She went through ABATE.
Trouble is I can't get her out of the subdivision. She has "street fear". I know the feeling and it took me about 5,000 miles of riding before I was anywhere near comfortable around the crazy four wheelers. We are going to try again this year. In fact, I signed her up for ABATE again yesterday at the Indiana Motorcycle Show in Indy.
Since she will not ride on the back of my bike, I'll have to ride without her if this doesn't work out.
But I won't force her...I'll sell her bike in a heartbeat if she isn't growing comfortable with it. The only other option we discussed was buying a trike...but what a cost!!!
After watching the rest of our family (5 bikes with my grown kids and son-in-law) have such a great time, she decided to buy a bike last year. She found a Vulcan 900 classic with heal-toe shifter, highway bars, windshield and triple front light set. Looks like a much bigger bike but is lighter and lower to the ground. She went through ABATE.
Trouble is I can't get her out of the subdivision. She has "street fear". I know the feeling and it took me about 5,000 miles of riding before I was anywhere near comfortable around the crazy four wheelers. We are going to try again this year. In fact, I signed her up for ABATE again yesterday at the Indiana Motorcycle Show in Indy.
Since she will not ride on the back of my bike, I'll have to ride without her if this doesn't work out.
But I won't force her...I'll sell her bike in a heartbeat if she isn't growing comfortable with it. The only other option we discussed was buying a trike...but what a cost!!!