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I would send the part back if it was advertised to fit your bike and didn't. The company should replace it with the correct part or refund your money. You might be able to modify it to fit, but may end up with more cost if you have to have it re-chromed.
Chrome will crack and peel off if you bend it. If you heat it with a torch it will turn blue just like your exhaust pipes. Send it back and get the correct hardware, no way I would try and modify a chrome piece that doesn't fit. You're asking for trouble if you try and return a modified piece.
Send it back. I just got a rear wheel that was supossed to fit my 06. It didn't but I was told I could mill the depth of the hub to fit the bearing. No thanks, more hassle then it was worth. Got a full refund.
"Can and how do I go about bending that upper flange out without breaking the weld or the chrome? Is it as easy as mounting in a vice and bending it?"
Probably.
I just got a luggage rack off ebay for the trip to Laconia. Beautifully crafted but I don't think those Chinamen ever saw a Harley when they imagined the dimentions. It was too short, too narrow, & too late to order another. So I got psst & got a vice & a beer & cold bent it for a couple of hours. No damage was done to the welds or the chrome, but the steel underneath is probably weaker. Worked out fine.
bend it and if the chrome flakes tape off the flange and paint it black it will match the frame and the guard will still be chrome .. just remember to sand the chrome where you will be painting it ... problem solved ....
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