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Hang in there, keep at it and it will all be good. Might want to lose those lowers when it gets hot. Didn't ride yesterday but did Friday and then on Saturday on the Double D Memorial ride.
New seat and maybe adjustable floor boards for her.
My FXSTC has a taller than stock sissy bar and pad. I also added high mounted pegs for her. Before PC times, they were known as bitch pegs.
I ride two up about half the time, and it just feels natural. It works better if they're under 150 lbs, and if they let you know before they climb on..
#1 Smart man for stopping with 'the look'
#2 Yes, the wind is worse in the back. Have her get a hair sock, ear plugs, whatever... just keep them covered
#3 Have her sit on a few different seats and pick one out that is comfortable for her. This will earn you MAJOR brownie points.
For my wife I bought the seat that had the thickest fattest most comfy passenger pad there was out there. I don't take her out on windy, cold or rainy days. keep the rides short. Stop somewhere for a nice lunch. I always make it nice for her. I know if i didn't do it right she would loose interest fast in motorbiking.
And just remember, no matter what you do, what mods you put on, what the weather is, etc., sometimes she's still gonna bitch...you gotta just enjoy the ride!
So there I was, fitting myself to a Sporty when the wife walked over and said "where do I sit?". I bought the Sporty and put a 2 up Sundowner on it figuring that her first time out would be her last.
Fast forward 3 years - I put the tourpak for our Road King on order the other day. The Queens Throne will be on within the next 2 to 3 weeks hopefully. I never pushed her to ride and allowed her to expand her horizons at her own pace. We will spend time together riding to dinner on bike nite on Tuesdays, dinner at the shore some Saturday nites, and other destinations during the weekends. An intercam allows us to "catch up" while en-route.
Who would have figured that a bike could do that for us? It has brought us closer together and brought a "common interest" to our lives. I only hope that she happy with her new throne, cause the alternaive is a new ultra. She already passed comment on that, while I stood there shell shocked by the price tag.
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Depending on how tall you & your wife are (I'm 6'2" wife is 5'10")you may want to put the George Anderson TourPak relocation kit on. It moves the TourPak back 1-1/2" to 2-1/2". I also lowered the passenger floor boards for her, and she's much happier. These may help with the sore bum issue.
My wife has been my passenger since 1984 when I bought my first touring bike. On a heavy bike, little things like confirmation that you are ready for her to mount or dismount the bike, or knowing when she can or can't stretch out and do her little dance on the back seat, really make the trips a lot smoother.
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