Need some advice ...TROUBLED!
Stellar HDF Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 2,583
Likes: 96
From: Eastern North Carolina
'Momma's got a squEEze box, daddy never sleeps at night ..."
Sounds like she's ignoring you. You're a good son to be concerned but if the shoe was on the other foot you'd prolly like to strangle her.
Sounds like she's ignoring you. You're a good son to be concerned but if the shoe was on the other foot you'd prolly like to strangle her.
Ultimate HDF Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,913
Likes: 87
From:
Lots of good advice here even though it may be contradictory.
You sound like a good concerned son but your last words speak volumes "...there is no talking to her or trying to convince her not to ride."
So let her ride and let her ride alone when she wants to. Let her keep her bike at her home. Suggest she take a riders course. Keep loving her but respect that stubborness and independence. I'm older than she and I prefer riding alone. If she is alone and drops the bike and can't get it back up someone will come along and pick it up for her. She sounds like she can take care of herself so give her that independence and let her know that you support her but worry about her. She will understand. Hopefully you will too.
Good luck.
You sound like a good concerned son but your last words speak volumes "...there is no talking to her or trying to convince her not to ride."
So let her ride and let her ride alone when she wants to. Let her keep her bike at her home. Suggest she take a riders course. Keep loving her but respect that stubborness and independence. I'm older than she and I prefer riding alone. If she is alone and drops the bike and can't get it back up someone will come along and pick it up for her. She sounds like she can take care of herself so give her that independence and let her know that you support her but worry about her. She will understand. Hopefully you will too.
Good luck.
Big Kahuna HDF Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 23,881
Likes: 34
From: USA
I would:
1. Get the Sporty lowered so she can handle it. OR
2. Get the Sporty triked OR
3. I was going to say Honda Shadow but the Sportster Super Low is the same weight and seat height as a Honda Shadow. So have your dealer lower her's to that spec.
1. Get the Sporty lowered so she can handle it. OR
2. Get the Sporty triked OR
3. I was going to say Honda Shadow but the Sportster Super Low is the same weight and seat height as a Honda Shadow. So have your dealer lower her's to that spec.
Last edited by KBFXDLI; Apr 25, 2012 at 07:13 PM.
Tourer
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 329
Likes: 2
From: Poultney, VT
I need some advice here, I've been struggling through this for the past 6 years now, and I can't take it anymore. Six years ago I sold a sportster I had to my mother who wanted to ride, she had her liscence to ride ever since she was 30 but hasn't had a bike since then. She was 58 then, she is going to be 65 this year. I've told her that I never want her riding alone for safety reasons, and I keep the bike at my house as a precaution so that I know that she doesnt try to ride alone.
I have had to on a couple of occations pull over to the side of the road so that I could help pick the bike back up off the road because she laid it down on a hill at a stop sign. I've tried to talk to her about the concern i have with her riding. I think its time for her to stop and find another hobby. She is the most hard headed woman you'd ever want to meet. If I would refuse to not take her out riding, she would demand that I bring the bike to her house. I mean it IS in her name, its her bike and I'm sure she would try to go out riding on her own, and I think after a summer of riding alone she would realize its no fun riding by herself and that would be the end of that, but I can't take the chance of anything happening to her. I wouldn't be able to live with that for the rest of my life.
She will not stop and I am going to have to take some sort of action to prevent anything bad happening. Her strength is not what it was even 6 years ago, she has more aches and pains and has a hard time getting up from sitting on the floor playing with the dog. I don't know how to deal with this situation. I would like for her to sell the bike and realize the dangers that I see, that either she doesn't see or refuses to see. In her mind she still thinks she's 30, and thats great, but physically and reaction wise, she is 65.
Now I'm sure there are a lot of you out there that are in their 60's and still riding, and thats great I hope to be at that age. I'm not trying to insult any rider over 60. But she's like 5'3" and can't lift the bike up on her own. I'm sure I'll get some unfavorable comments by posting this but I need some advice here, and remember ...there is no talking to her or trying to convince her not to ride.
I have had to on a couple of occations pull over to the side of the road so that I could help pick the bike back up off the road because she laid it down on a hill at a stop sign. I've tried to talk to her about the concern i have with her riding. I think its time for her to stop and find another hobby. She is the most hard headed woman you'd ever want to meet. If I would refuse to not take her out riding, she would demand that I bring the bike to her house. I mean it IS in her name, its her bike and I'm sure she would try to go out riding on her own, and I think after a summer of riding alone she would realize its no fun riding by herself and that would be the end of that, but I can't take the chance of anything happening to her. I wouldn't be able to live with that for the rest of my life.
She will not stop and I am going to have to take some sort of action to prevent anything bad happening. Her strength is not what it was even 6 years ago, she has more aches and pains and has a hard time getting up from sitting on the floor playing with the dog. I don't know how to deal with this situation. I would like for her to sell the bike and realize the dangers that I see, that either she doesn't see or refuses to see. In her mind she still thinks she's 30, and thats great, but physically and reaction wise, she is 65.
Now I'm sure there are a lot of you out there that are in their 60's and still riding, and thats great I hope to be at that age. I'm not trying to insult any rider over 60. But she's like 5'3" and can't lift the bike up on her own. I'm sure I'll get some unfavorable comments by posting this but I need some advice here, and remember ...there is no talking to her or trying to convince her not to ride.
Most guys I know can not pick up a dropped Full Dresser, Goldwing or Sport Touring bike on their own. That includes me. THIS is not a reason NOT to ride.
What I am wondering is WHY she is dropping it. Rather than nag her about something she loves to do, go buy her a Riders Course and Advanced Riders Course. In fact EVERY RIDER should take these every x number of years. I don't care how long a been riding or how experienced you think you are. When we stop learning, we give up.
My Fav is the Lee Parks Total Control Clinic.
and if you are lucky to live in the right area, you can get Christine Firehock as your instructor.
http://www.ckskickstart.com/
Advanced
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 96
Likes: 1
From: central texas
The bottom line is if her name's on the title, she can do what she wants with the bike, especially if she is as hardheaded as you say.
I can appreciate your concerns for your mom. I'm going through something similar with my 60+yo mom, although nothing as cool as her wanting to ride a harley!
It took me a while to let go and realize I couldn't change my mom if she didn't want to be change. The best I could do was let her know my concerns and let her make her own mistakes whatever the consequence.
I can appreciate your concerns for your mom. I'm going through something similar with my 60+yo mom, although nothing as cool as her wanting to ride a harley!
It took me a while to let go and realize I couldn't change my mom if she didn't want to be change. The best I could do was let her know my concerns and let her make her own mistakes whatever the consequence.
Last edited by lpx; Apr 25, 2012 at 09:05 PM. Reason: stupid grammar school!
Club Member
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,404
Likes: 12
From: Haymarket, VA
I think it totally depends on how good her riding skills are. I would have a riding instructor privately evaluate her skills & reaction times. If he says she is good to go, tell her to ride, ride, ride. I am 71 & I am riding my Deuce every spare minute to keep my skills honed as much as I can to try to forstall that enevitable time I must stop riding a 2 wheeler.
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My son just bought his first street bike and it scares the **** out of me. But it's great riding together. God forbid if anything ever happens to him but if it does it will be while he is doing something he absolutely loves and that is somewhat comforting. Let her ride.
