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Congrats on the bike. I just got my new one too. The only difference I have been admiring the softails for years and so I already have a really good idea of what I want, its just a matter of working out the details and making it fit within my budget. That budget by the way is already maxed and I'm now working on my next list.
The best advice I could give, if your not sure where to start, is to not do anything until you have looked around some. Get an HD accessory book, get a couple of other books like J&P or Dennis Kirk also. Spend the rainy days looking them (and the web) getting your ideas together. The best suggestion though, is to go to larger rides or dealership parties where you can see a lot of bikes in one place, see & hear what you like and what you don't like. You will also notice that some accessories go well together and others do not.
As far as performance mods, stage 1 is kind of the same. Do you know what pipes you want or what kind of a/c? You will also spend lots of time reading up on the fuel management options and which one is best for you (and your budget)
Most important of all, enjoy yourself - I know I am ! !
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