My wife is about the same. Her & my sons wanted to ride. They all took the safety course together, last fall. At the time she was riding a 1999 Suzuki Marauder 800. She dropped it twice & said it was to heavy. I am addicted to buying, selling, trading vehicles. I then had a 99 Honda Magna 750. She didnt like it, but never dropped it. I then sold the Magna & took her out one weekend to let her pick what bike she wanted. A local Honda dealer had some used bikes like a Vulcan 500, Honda VLX 600, vstar 650 & Honda shadow 750 spirit & 750 ace. She liked the Spirit. I found 1 the next day from a private party & bought her a nice 03 Spirit 750 with 5k on it a nice exhaust system. I gave 3k for it. She like the feel of it & says it is lighter than the other 2 bikes i had, but in reality it weighs more than either one.
She has already layed it down twice & has me scared for her safety. She wants to ride her own bike & wants to ride on my bike to.
I just purchased a 01 Ultra Classic & i like the bike. I am ok with the weight of the bike when i am by myself, but i am still sketchy with her on back. She does weigh about 170 & i am 190, so it is a lot of weight for me. I would rather her ride her bike, but again, i am scared for her.

 

I began learning to ride five years ago. Having never even ridden bicycles (grew up on dirt roads out in the country) the entire process of leaning in turns and counter steering took me awhile to get used to.

I'm glad you did not get the Sportster. Now on my 6th bike, I can say it was the hardest to ride and being short, was not real comfortable as I had the 1200 XL with forward pegs and the bars are pretty far forward for me.

Fortunately, my husband was very patient. We first did the church parking lot. Then we slowly circled city blocks for what seemed like weeks. He encouraged me to go alone after about a week and I was surprised how much better I rode without thinking he was watching my every move. I chose to ride for me but I will admit I was very frightened once getting on city streets. Next we went to the football stadiums and practiced in the parking lot and on the surrounding streets which had little traffic. I was lucky and had a friend take the Basic Riders Course with me. She lived near by and we could meet and circle the city blocks. Then we took to the service roads and slowly worked up to 70 mph without being in anyones' way. My husband had cautioned me as well about sometimes it is more dangerous to be slow and in the way so I wanted to be comfortable before I hit the city streets.

It was probably months before I drove within the city limits. But slowly I became more and more confident.

What concerns me is her dropping the bike. If she took the course, she should know that you have to stop straight and apply even pressure to both brakes. If you go to parking lots for awhile and this continues to happen, she is either not meant to ride or may be nervous having you as an instructor.

If she just bought the bike to please you and really isn't into it, she'll admit that eventually.

It was almost 90 days of pretty continuous rides before I got up to 70 mph and I would still slow down some in the curves out of inexperience. By then I had a Softail Deluxe which was lowered front and back with an engine guard. I only dropped my sportster one time and I sorta dropped the Deluxe one time in the first 7,500 miles on it (parked on slope of dirt hill and kick stand sunk)

Hopefully if she is doing this for you instead of herself she will admit it soon. It is too dangerous for her to try to prove herself on.

I think what makes it harder for some of us females to conquer is the fear of dropping it and not being able to pick it up. With experience, I could relax and rode much better.

Hope this gives you a different perspective.

I have about 30,000 miles riding time now and took the advanced course on a Street Bob a few years back. The MSF courses are wonderful. I also took a two hour "tutoring" when I first got my Deluxe in 2004 and it really helped me get used to the bike, doing u turns on it and knowing its full capabilities. This was private and it was a great boost to my confidence. Didn't have to worry about pass/fail or making a fool out of myself. I got the u turns down quick with the one on one time with a trained instructor.

 

A lot depends on what motivates them to want to ride. Is it her desire to ride, or is it yours? My wife wanted to learn way back in the 80's but we didnt get it done then. She said said wanted to again a couple of years ago, so we started looking for a learners bike. I tried to steer her towards a cheaper japanese bike but she wanted a Harley. She is 5'0" and 120 lbs, so there werent many choices. I got her a used 883 and lowered it, both front and rear and put the "reach" seat on it. She could just get both her feet flat on the ground after that.

We started out in the football stadium parking lot on weekends and evenings, just let her putt around and get used to the gear and brake. She took the "Riders Edge" safety course and that really seemed to help her confidence. After she got her license we started taking day trips on secondary roads. No interstate, just back roads where the traffic was light. We have taken a couple of trips now, the longest of which was 700 miles. She has about 10,000 miles now and shows no signs of letting up. She dropped the bike once when the kickstand failed to lock and it went down on her leg, but she got right back on it, and rode the 30 miles home.

It was her desire to become a rider, not mine. I only have done what I could to help her learn, and be safe. At no time did I put her under pressure. We only did things when she felt she was ready to do them.

Just my .02

 

Lots of good advice. I just have to agree that some people simply aren't cut out for riding no matter how much they want to.

I think I got lucky with my wife. She told me that she wanted to ride late last year, so I told her if she'd take the MSF course, pass it and still wanted to ride I'd buy her a bike. She took the class and was the only person in her class (all men) that scored a perfect score on the riding exam. After she got her endorsement we went to the dealer and she picked out a new FXDC. I took her to an emply parking lot every day after work for 2 weeks making sure that she practiced turning both directions from a stop, and many other important skills needed to ride on the streets.

After that it was all good. She took to it like she'd been riding all her life. We ride with another woman that has been riding for 3 years and my wife rides circles around her. Even people in my club couldn't believe she's only been riding since February of this year.

Seeing how poorly some people ride even after doing so for a number of years, then watching my wife take to it so naturally really made me believe that some people just aren't cut out for it. I have no idea if your wife is one of those people, but if she is, it might be better to stop now before she gets hurt. Good luck.

 

Maybe she just doesn't like the stuff you want her to ride, let her get something she's comfortable on and with. BUT GET HER INTO TRAINING and I gotta agree, you find something else to do! Had the same issues with my wife, she would drop the bike run it into the shed and get scared and not want to ride.She actually got rear ended by another woman on a softtail at the end of last season, totaled her bike, but she got a bigger one and now she rides right along side of me.In fact I have to slow her down from time to time.

 

Get the keys and get her off the bike she does not seem to pocess any natural ability to ride. Gal I lived with learned on a CB750K w/Vetter Windjammer Fairing and didn't drop the bike in three years has much.

There are people who can't ride and a lot of them can't drive either.

 

My wife is 53 and has arthritis so bad she has problems with the clutch and she still ride just fine.
I would have to say your wife REALLY doesn't want to ride, she just wants to say she rides. So park the bike in the garage so she can ride it around the block a couple times a year and maybe she will be happy.
Whatever you do don't spend any more money on any more bikes for her.

 

Trike!

 

How big is she? 5-2" girls are different from 5-10" . Sounds like she really wants to learn, otherwise she'd have bagged it already. I would have gone with the Sportster personally but hey that's me. Sounds like she's a trooper. Nothing's gonna get your skills up to par but saddle time...period. Encourage her to ride ride ride. Maybe the pride of being on a HD would have been one more in the plus column???

 

I'd be willing to bet taht a large part of the problem is the bike itself.

Everyone seems to think that an old beatup bike is the best way to go, and while that may be true, if the bike FEELS top Heavy, or doesn't fit her correctly, she won't be abnle to learn on it. Its too intimidatng.

Wife went to Riders Edge, and came home saying she would never ride as she had dropped the buell that they used. I opened the garage to give her the new Softail Deluxe that I had bought her. She was not happy, but friend talked her into at least riding it once around the block and thats all it took. She was hooked. the bike fit her, its extremely well balanced, and she fell in love with the bike, as it was the bike and color that SHE had been looking at for months.

Yeah, we did the parking lot thing for several weeks, I was never pushy, ir too critical. I encouraged her to be better, and continuously asked her what she though she was doing right, or wrong. We had long discussions about how SHE felt about her abilities, not about what I saw..When I let her do the critique, I found that she knew what I saw, and could point it out without me saying it. This made her a better rider, as she looked for things she did wrong.

She never once dropped the bike during her training phase. and since then, has only dropped it once in a parking lot that was on a hill (her best friend dropped hers at the same time..)

I am not saying that everyone should learn on a new bike...but it did work for my wife, and she has now ridden over 25K on that same bike, and she loves getting out to ride. I think FIT is more important, and Balance of the bike is critical. The Deluxe has a very low center of gravity, making it a bike that you can actually lift your feet onto the boards and balance it while standing still. Not many bikes will do that.

I never chastised her, she did plenty of that herself, I simply encouraged her, and rewarded her with praise when I saw something that she did well.

Take a good look at the bike, and view it from HER perspective, YOU choose that bike, not her, and that will make a HUGE difference in her desire to learn, as she may feel that no matter what she does, you'll leave her on a bike she doesn't like or want.

I will agree with several others, many husbands simply CAN NOT teach thier wives to ride. We are too concerned with her safety to be objective, and encouraging. It takes alot of patience, caring, and time, without being pushy. And oftentimes, We are too busy or in too much of a hurry to get things done as we see they should be.

STOP taking her out on the road to go anywhere until she is more comfortable. Ride sub-divisions (25 mph) until she feels more confident. Practice stoping, turning, and everything else at low speeds, in areas that the won't be traffic to worry her.

Take a critical look at yourself and how you are handling the teaching, you may find that you are a part of the problem, because she wants to please you, instead of wanting to learn for herself.

Good luck to both of you, I don't believe in the adage that some are simply not made to ride. Some simply don't WANT to ride for the right reasons..