Teaching "her" to ride...
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 83
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From: Texas
Teaching "her" to ride...
The Wife is a new rider, at 53. She's taken the Basic course twice (both successfully) and has her MC endorsement. We went out and got her a Sporty Super Low 883, it's a great bike for her size and one of the only ones she can flat foot.
So my question to those who have already gone through this situation is when do you know when she's ready for the road. I have her in the high school parking lot right now, practicing the slow speed stuff, stops, starts, low speed turns, etc. My training philosophy right now is, until I see or sense she is totally comfortable with all slow speed aspects of handling the bike, I'm don't want her out on the road with traffic. Too harsh, too demanding?
I've always been happy with her as a passenger on the UC, she's great company and a good passenger...but the idea of her riding with/near/beside me, frankly scares me to death. Not because I don't trust her...it's because I don't have control over "the situation." Does one ever overcome this fear?
Looking forward to your insights.
So my question to those who have already gone through this situation is when do you know when she's ready for the road. I have her in the high school parking lot right now, practicing the slow speed stuff, stops, starts, low speed turns, etc. My training philosophy right now is, until I see or sense she is totally comfortable with all slow speed aspects of handling the bike, I'm don't want her out on the road with traffic. Too harsh, too demanding?
I've always been happy with her as a passenger on the UC, she's great company and a good passenger...but the idea of her riding with/near/beside me, frankly scares me to death. Not because I don't trust her...it's because I don't have control over "the situation." Does one ever overcome this fear?
Looking forward to your insights.
Tourer
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 254
Likes: 18
From: Chicago, Illinois
I'm going throught this now with my twin 15 year olds only they are clueless to everything like turn signals and how to properly brake. Best training has been trial by fire. move to the backroads with little traffic and progress to busier roads. Parking lots are great for basics but at some point she needs to ride at speed 55mph. If she can handle the slow speed parking lot turns, starting from a complete stop and overall stopping then she'll have no trouble on bigger roads. Make sure to teach her the slippery areas (Center of the lane, railroad tracks, etc).
Last edited by criyi; Apr 19, 2012 at 10:49 AM.
Cruiser
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 116
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From: Bethel Park, PA
It sounds to me that she is ready for the road now. Start out just in the neigborhood running around town. On the road is the best experience and knowledge she can gain since she spent her time in the parking lots.
Outstanding HDF Member
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,078
Likes: 6
From: Michigan
Exactly, she passed the BRC twice, start taking her out on local rides, and work up to longer farther rides.
Big Kahuna HDF Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 20,530
Likes: 2,305
From: texas panhandle
I have friends that both the wife and husband ride. The biggest problem I have seen is that the husband tries to ride both bikes. One guy ran into me at a slow down in traffic because he was managing his wife and not his bike. No damage, but it was close to being a big deal. Just make sure that you don't become a danger and I am sure your wife will ride within her level of skill. Have fun.
Advanced
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 61
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From: Cypress, TX
I was real nervous when my wife got her Sporty (10 yrs ago).
I made her take the Rider's Edge class at our H-D stealership.
After she completed that she was only riding in the neighborhood by our house and parking lots for a couple weeks.
When we rode together I followed her so I could keep an eye on her and let her set the pace. That way I could let her know what she was doing (right or wrong). It was a nervous and trying time for sure.
I don't like having to ride watching behind me all the time, so even now I usually follow her.
She graduated to a RK this year and is doing quite well with it.
I still watch her like a hawk (from force of habit!)
Good luck & safe riding!!!
I made her take the Rider's Edge class at our H-D stealership.
After she completed that she was only riding in the neighborhood by our house and parking lots for a couple weeks.
When we rode together I followed her so I could keep an eye on her and let her set the pace. That way I could let her know what she was doing (right or wrong). It was a nervous and trying time for sure.
I don't like having to ride watching behind me all the time, so even now I usually follow her.
She graduated to a RK this year and is doing quite well with it.
I still watch her like a hawk (from force of habit!)
Good luck & safe riding!!!
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Tourer
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 338
Likes: 2
From: North Central CT
Actually, the question you need to be asking is: "Honey, when do you feel you will be ready for the road?" that's the question that matters.
I know it is tough, but you have to let go of the thought that you are responsible for her riding or have some control over it. You aren't...she is. You need to devote your energy to making sure YOU are riding safely and correctly and she has to worry about doing the same...not making sure she is pleasing you.
As the other poster said...you can't ride both bikes at the same time. If you can't let that need go, get her back on the back of yours and sell her bike. The worry will kill you and the constant attention, "back seat driving" (what do you call that when you are on a bike behind the other person??? lol), etc will get her frustrated and demotivate her from riding.
Unless she is doing something unsafe, save your criticism for after the ride and go over it in a constructive manner or you will just frustrate her more.
She isnt a kid, she's an adult. If she can't handle it, she'll figure it out and tell you so.
And, since you have now doubled the number of targets for the cagers, I hope you are both wearing all the safety gear you should be wearing. As concerned as you are about her...she is as concerned about your safety, too.
When she feels ready to hit the road, tell her to go for a little ride every day. Most of those little rides should probably be unattended.
Sounds like you've done everything you can to get her ready! Good for you both!
I know it is tough, but you have to let go of the thought that you are responsible for her riding or have some control over it. You aren't...she is. You need to devote your energy to making sure YOU are riding safely and correctly and she has to worry about doing the same...not making sure she is pleasing you.
As the other poster said...you can't ride both bikes at the same time. If you can't let that need go, get her back on the back of yours and sell her bike. The worry will kill you and the constant attention, "back seat driving" (what do you call that when you are on a bike behind the other person??? lol), etc will get her frustrated and demotivate her from riding.
Unless she is doing something unsafe, save your criticism for after the ride and go over it in a constructive manner or you will just frustrate her more.
She isnt a kid, she's an adult. If she can't handle it, she'll figure it out and tell you so.
And, since you have now doubled the number of targets for the cagers, I hope you are both wearing all the safety gear you should be wearing. As concerned as you are about her...she is as concerned about your safety, too.
When she feels ready to hit the road, tell her to go for a little ride every day. Most of those little rides should probably be unattended.
Sounds like you've done everything you can to get her ready! Good for you both!
Last edited by MadIrish; Apr 19, 2012 at 01:04 PM.
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Tourer
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 405
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From: Council Bluffs, Iowa
When I went through this, after she passed the safety course, I just suggested that she ride by HERSELF around the hood. Women have survival instincts too. If they pass the course they know enough to ride around the neighborhood ALONE without crashing/dumping it. I mean, how many of us had a chaperone/critic riding with us when we first started riding? Make sure she has the cell phone, tell her to be safe, watch her leave, and crack a beer.
Road Warrior
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,296
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From: Cheltenham, UK
Going through similar thing with my wife, except she is on a 125.
Actually I have found the whole process quite therapeutic and relaxing, because I knew from the start that I was not in control of the process and actually it doesn't make any difference how long the process takes!
I also decided that I would not judge her on any mechanical issues such as lugging or red lining. It is a small bike and when it is done then so be it! I will concern her with those issues once she has satisfied herself that she is safe on the road.
I always follow her and, surprisingly, she really appreciates having Scala comms. That said, I will only offer encouragement or praise through the Scala, or answer a specific question. If there is stuff that could be done better we chat about it over a cuppa when we are taking a break.
No, I am not a super cool husband or Mr Patient - in fact I have surprised myself with how I have handled it so far. I also promised myself that actually it is not at all important whether she ever rides a big bike actively and confidently. It would not bother me in the slightest if she told me now it was not for her, I am hugely proud of what we have already achieved.
Actually I have found the whole process quite therapeutic and relaxing, because I knew from the start that I was not in control of the process and actually it doesn't make any difference how long the process takes!
I also decided that I would not judge her on any mechanical issues such as lugging or red lining. It is a small bike and when it is done then so be it! I will concern her with those issues once she has satisfied herself that she is safe on the road.
I always follow her and, surprisingly, she really appreciates having Scala comms. That said, I will only offer encouragement or praise through the Scala, or answer a specific question. If there is stuff that could be done better we chat about it over a cuppa when we are taking a break.
No, I am not a super cool husband or Mr Patient - in fact I have surprised myself with how I have handled it so far. I also promised myself that actually it is not at all important whether she ever rides a big bike actively and confidently. It would not bother me in the slightest if she told me now it was not for her, I am hugely proud of what we have already achieved.