Exactly. Just this and cleaning the air filter, changing plugs. Run some Seafoam thru it a couple times a year and the bike will run forever. Very simple stuff and these are 90% of maintenance.

73,000 miles and no end in sight, she's never run better.

 

I'd hate to see how a real man washes the car. Yikes!

 

Ok, ok, I gave it a shot and decided after many years of taking my scooter to the dealer for oil changes and checking the tires for air.
My engine just didn't seem to be running just right lately, so I thought I would take the OPs advice and do my own maintenance.
I dug through the kitchen drawer and found my mother's old screw driver that flips over for the phillips head and then went over to the neighbor to borrow his wrench that can be adjusted with that worn kind of thing on the side.
It took me a while but I finally got the right cover off the engine. Quite a few things in there that I'm still not to sure what they do. I figured if I started the bike up it would be easier to see what they do. I didn't expect all that oil though. After cleaning up the oil I started the bike up again. Much better. No oil running out all over the place. While the bike was running, I could see a few things spinning around making all kinds of noise, but if I held the screw driver against the oblong thing, the noise went away but the engine seemed to slow down a bit. Kinda like it was under load. It was the on the third time that I did that the screw driver slipped outa my fingers because of the oil and got bent up by the oblong thing and the engine quit. I couldn't get it out by pulling on it so I figured I could just undo a few of the nuts and bolts. Got the screw driver out, but I'm not sure what order the bolts go back in. Decided I should just go ahead and pull the rest of the parts out to see whats in there before putting it back together. I had to go find a tupper ware container to put things in because the dirt from the parking lot was getting all over the parts I had already taken out. I was able to pull the shaft out that had the two oblong things on it and all of a sudden, two rods came down into the case. Surprised the heck outa me. I was able to pull them out with a little force. They must have been in the chrome shafts that are up behind the carburator. Well heck, I had to take the top off the engine to see where they go. It was getting dark and looked like rain so I quit for the evening. Next day, looked like someone was messing with things and kicked my tupperware container over. Dirt and grass inside the engine where the shaft with the oblong things on it was. Worked on the top of the engine for a while with the screw driver but finally got it off. More stuff. I thought I would find the pistons up there. I rounded off three of the nuts with the adjustable wrench. Geeez, I started thinking I might not know what I'm doin. Decided to put it all back together and take it to the dealer. Got the top back on and put the rods back up where they fell out of but had to hold them there with some duct tape till I could get the shaft back in there to hold them in place. Took a while and a lot of prying but found out if I turned the shaft with the oblong things on it back and forth, I could get the rods back onto it where they belong. It's just that chain really got chewed up in the process. Put the rest of the stuff back in there the best I could. Had a few washers left over and some kind of plastic part with a spring on it. Tried to start the bike up to take it to the dealer. Geeezo criminy, the noise was a whole lot worse. Got it to the dealer, they said there wasn't any oil in it.

 

you should have stayed in a Holiday Inn Express. haha