Make sure you're using the right air pressure in the rear shocks too. I found that it makes a huge difference in handling when 2-up. It was a completely different ride the first time I adjusted the air.

 

Lots of good advice on here. A couple of tips. If you have to back up the bike with her on it, Get her to fold the rear boards up and set her feet on the outer edge which is now facing up. You won't slam your calves into the boards.

Bottom line is practice. I showed my wife how her movements could control the bike (in an empty parking lot). She was amazed and is now the best passenger I have ever had.

Buy 15' of heater hose zap strap it to the crash guards and bag guards. Head to an empty parking lot. Practice your low speed turns, figure 8's, etc., Have a buddy in case you drop it. There will be no damage and now you can pick it up the right way with no embarrassment, because you have watched the video on this forum. Right!!!! Your Pal is there to flip the jiffy stand down. If your local PD has motor officers, try and watch them on a qualifying day. It is a free demonstration of the Ride Like a Pro Video.

IMHO you just need to gain some confidence. The only way that I have ever been able to do that is through repetition.
Be Safe,
Rev

 

Change your shocks to the progressive 940's.
That will drop you an inch and then buy a new seat, like a used sundowner for around a buck fifty that you can find in the classifieds on this site.
That will drop you about 2 inches right there.
That should do it.

 

I do think that any modification you do make to the bike to help your control and confidence level is a good thing. However, the Touring bikes are a different breed. No matter how long you have been riding, if you are on a touring bike for the first time, you will need to re-learn a lot of things you previously took for granted. The first and most obvious is the weight. You may have been able to lean a Dyna or Softail over quite a bit at a stop, and yet still be able to muscle it back straight if your foot were to land on a down hill slope for instance. In many cases that won't be the same on the big Dressers. You need to pay closer attention to the environment around you...slopes at stops, loose or deep sand and gravel etc. The same applies to such simple tasks as braking and turning. Ever have to brake your Fatboy or Dyna while in a slow turn because of some unforseen event or worse yet have it stall with the handlebars turned? If you accidentally grab a little too much front brake, while your handle bars are turned in a slower speed situation, or it happens to stall, the bikes natural reaction is to tip. On a lighter bike you can usually muscle it and keep it upright. Not going to happen on that Touring bike. Once she gets to a point....its a point of no return. Again you will feel the weight difference under this circumstance. Slow manuevers will also be different. Finding the friction zone on the clutch, lightly dragging the rear brake and turning your head in the direction you want the bike to go... Do not look down or you may end up down, and don't look at that approaching guard rail....look where you want to go even if that means turning your head all the way around for a U Turn and keeping that bike moving with just enough momentum to keep it standing up takes practice. Once you learn this technique however, your confidence and control will seem to double almost at the first instance you perfect it. Practice braking to a stop. Many like to use the front brake exclusively when going slowly and coming to a stop. Don't do it on that Touring bike. Adjust the bike to fit you and then practice pratice and practice some more. I'd also limit your wife's ridiing time until you yourslf are more comfortable and more in control of the bike. Good Luck and please be careful. All good things take time!

 

I salute you, man. What a sacifice to give these kids a stable home. I know you get a lot out of it yourself but still......

 

Simple and fun solution.Get her on the bike and have her hug you.Now ride and turn and lean.Then have her keep her spine just like yours.If she is fighting you to keep from tipping or if she is backsest driving with her body the hugging will cure it.Ride as one in other words.

Many years ago mine tried to kill us by leaning the wrong way on a curve,she no longer does that.

 

Lots of good advice here, I've spent 99% of the miles I ride on baggers. I don't find the extra weight to be a bother, actually don't notice it. I have my wife out weighed by a good 100 lbs. The best thing the OP can do is practice slow manuvering and learn to use the friction zone. As others have said the passenger has to have their mind in the game also. My wife has been a great passenger, I've done running board scraping u-turns with a fully loaded bike and her aboard with no problems but it takes practice and confidence.

The passanger can't just sit there like a lump either, they have to watching and anticipating. I've had people turn left in front of me while the wife was aboard, she saw it happening and had a death grip on the grab railes. Durring one quick stop and manuver she never banged into the back of me, she did say at one point her *** came an inch off the seat.

 

I second the suggestion to install Progressive 940 shocks. I just had a set installed on my '04 Electra Glide Classic. They are fantastic. Excellent ride and they are 1" lower yet have the same amount of travel as a full length shock.

 

I've been riding since I was about 14, am 67 now. Have my first Road King now for 4 years and 44,000+ miles on it. When the maneuver is too tight or the surface too unsure (gravel, sand, grass etc) it is no bruise to my ego what so ever to ask the Mrs. to get off until the maneuver is done, then she gets back on and away we go. Much bigger bruise to both the ego and the machine to drop it. She is an excellent passenger (no wiggling or moving around) and very willing to accommodate a difficult maneuver or conditions. There is nothing like having "ball bearings" (gravel or sand) under your feet and/or tires to wither one's confidence.

All the stuff about practice and schools is good too, but everyone has his limits, mine don't embarrass me at all.

 

I just bought an Ulta 5 weeks ago. Even though my last bike was a Road Star 1700 (big and heavy) there is no comparison. The Ultra is huge and I was really worrying about getting the hang of it - especially since we got it so my wife could have the comfy seat. As far as solo I am surprised how quickly I adapted.

She has alaways been a great passenger but learning to ride 2 up on this thing was hard. One thing we do all the time is to get the stand down and her off before backing in. It is impossible for me to hold the bike up while getting her on and off and it is also easier for her with me out of the way.

Others have already said it - get a lean to ride DVD. While I have not had a chance to work on any real lessons yet just the fact of riding in the friction zone and using the rear brake was a massive help. Been riding for 14 years and never knew to do that.