Got a problem no one can fix
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Stellar HDF Member
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 3,103
Likes: 1,754
From: Atlanta, GA
Got a problem no one can fix
Fear. My wife's fear. Plain and simple.
I was riding last November with my wife and we wrecked. Not too serious; she broke an ankle and I got banged up but not bad at all. Bike got totalled.
About 30 days later I had a '12 RKC in the garage. I did everything to it to make it safer for us; lowered it, new bars, better lighting, etc. I even took the Ride Like A Pro course.
My wife, who used to love to go for rides with me and has gone on about 3 short rides on the RKC, now can't get past the fear of another accident and is hanging up the leathers at least temporarily. She just told me this today.
Riding was something we both loved to do. It is killing me inside that she's having so much trouble with this. I'm being totally supportive. I know she wants to enjoy it again but she just can't right now. I hope this passes. I intend to keep riding, but it'll somewhat suck without her.
Others have probaby been through this also. I'm not looking for an answer 'cause I know she's the only one who can overcome this.
Thanks for listening.
I was riding last November with my wife and we wrecked. Not too serious; she broke an ankle and I got banged up but not bad at all. Bike got totalled.
About 30 days later I had a '12 RKC in the garage. I did everything to it to make it safer for us; lowered it, new bars, better lighting, etc. I even took the Ride Like A Pro course.
My wife, who used to love to go for rides with me and has gone on about 3 short rides on the RKC, now can't get past the fear of another accident and is hanging up the leathers at least temporarily. She just told me this today.
Riding was something we both loved to do. It is killing me inside that she's having so much trouble with this. I'm being totally supportive. I know she wants to enjoy it again but she just can't right now. I hope this passes. I intend to keep riding, but it'll somewhat suck without her.
Others have probaby been through this also. I'm not looking for an answer 'cause I know she's the only one who can overcome this.
Thanks for listening.
Stellar HDF Member
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,086
Likes: 154
From: Buffalo, NY
How do lowering it and bars make it safer?
Elite HDF Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,928
Likes: 69
From: Near Myrtle Beach, SC
Give her the time she needs man. She will either come around or she will decide that she would rather not ride. I get the feeling that you might have perceived that it had evolved into a trust issue after the get-off. Good move to take the RLAP couse...none better.
You can always ride that bike alone. Maybe she would like a small lake or creek boat. There's always something you can configure that you can do together.
My wife wont' ride because of back problems. So I feel your pain.
You can always ride that bike alone. Maybe she would like a small lake or creek boat. There's always something you can configure that you can do together.
My wife wont' ride because of back problems. So I feel your pain.
Ultimate HDF Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 5,477
Likes: 5
From: New Braunfels, Texas
Support her decision and give it a little time. Ask her if she minds you asking her if she wants to come along when you go out and promise if she says no that you will go out solo and not ask twice in the same day.
The more you come back in one piece with a smile on your face the sooner she will say yes.
Women are funny..if you push the issue she will not want to hop on. If you let it go, she is going to surprise you with a yes sooner then she thinks.
My wife never intended to get on my first bike when I got it and I was OK with that. I would ask her every time I took off if she wanted to go and she would say no and I would take off. It almost started to become a joke and I would actually be laughing when I asked. One day she said yes and she has loved it ever since.
The more you come back in one piece with a smile on your face the sooner she will say yes.
Women are funny..if you push the issue she will not want to hop on. If you let it go, she is going to surprise you with a yes sooner then she thinks.
My wife never intended to get on my first bike when I got it and I was OK with that. I would ask her every time I took off if she wanted to go and she would say no and I would take off. It almost started to become a joke and I would actually be laughing when I asked. One day she said yes and she has loved it ever since.
Last edited by rooti; May 15, 2013 at 02:36 PM.
Outstanding HDF Member
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,090
Likes: 7
I'm not trying to be a dick, but we're you an unskilled or low-skilled rider when you wrecked? If so, she's gonna need to see some skills before she's gonna feel comfortable behind you again. I tell any woman that gets behind me 'your life is now in my hands, if you're not ok with that, I fully understand'. And I've been riding for 35
Years. My ol knows that I'm skilled, and without a doubt, I have a lot to live for. My daughter is 4, and if for no other reason, I'm not gonna leave her without a father. All that said, it's gonna take time, and only she knows how long...
Years. My ol knows that I'm skilled, and without a doubt, I have a lot to live for. My daughter is 4, and if for no other reason, I'm not gonna leave her without a father. All that said, it's gonna take time, and only she knows how long...
Road Master
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 826
Likes: 0
From: Phoenix
Back in the day you couldn't get my wife OFF the bike. She told me stories about riding with anyone, just to ride. Now I can't seem to get her on the bike. Only time is when it's a short ride, less than 100 miles. She will never go on a road trip, camping. I like riding solo, but once in a while I wouldn't mind taking her along. She is the reason I bought the EG, in fact she wanted me to by a RK but I like the fairing and less chrome.
Road Master
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 875
Likes: 2
From: Where I lay my head is home.
Also as others said... no offense intended at all. It can still be a trust issue even if you're the safest rider to ever saddle up.
My ex just about got punted off my old Roadstar once when I hit a ditch in the road out in the middle of the desert. Freaked her out and she didn't wanna ride with me anymore. It happens.
Might not be a bad idea to have your wife take the beginner MSF class... even if she doesn't want to ride (when she's ready of course). It'll increase her comfort in the saddle.
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Seasoned HDF Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,133
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From: CT/FL
sorry to hear your story. but be prepared for a long wait - my gf had a car wreck a year/half ago and still gets nervous approaching intersections if there is another car in sight...
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From: Monroe, NC
Just my .02