True.........very true.........sometimes the best relationships are those that have endured some really tough times and came out stronger......

 

Thats just ^%&%$ up. This sound like a guy at work. His wife up and left after 26 years. Cleaned out his bank account and went to Texas with some dude she met on the internet.

 

You sound like my X. Thanks for reminding me why I am so happy being single! And as far as hating (guys hating women and kicking puppies), maybe you should go look in a mirror!

 

I don't know much...and the older I get, the less I understand women...hell..the less I understand men. What I do know is that in this day and age, women are treated as complete equal to men in society....and that's fine. What's not fine are the archaic marriage/divorce laws. Lets put it this way....I got married five years ago. My wife came into the marriage with nothing but debt. I came into the marriage with a couple hundred grand that I had made on some very wise investments. In our five years of marriage, I've purchased a house for us, I paid off my wife's credit card debt, I paid off our cars, I purchased all our furnature, appliances, etc. Shortly after I got married, I got laid off from a great paying job and have had crap work since...meanwhile my wife has been able to keep her decent paying job. We also had a little girl.

The point I'm getting at is that if we divorced tomorrow, my wife would still have a decent paying job...she would have full custody of our child, she would get half of the material items, as well as our house...which had been paid for with 100% my money...money earned prior to us getting married. And the icing on the cake would be that I would still have to pay child support and/or alimony. Of course, I wouldn't get custody....I wouldn't get child support...or at least alimony from her (after all...she's making more than me now). So she'd be living in the house that I bought...with my kid...driving the cars that I bought...watching the big screen TV that I bought...sitting on the couch that I bought....and going to a good paying job. To me, there is something very VERY wrong with that. If that's not a one sided contract, I don't know what is.

I love my wife...and we have a good marriage. Still..I can't help but think that the institution of marriage really needs to change with the times. As of now, it's a contract that will only benefit a woman if it ends. Looking back...I would still get married again. But knowing what I know now....I'd never in a MILLION years do it again without a pre-nup.
Women can say what they want....but the fact that they are always pressuring their men to get married is done so for a reason. Because they know they have nothing to lose. Men, on the other hand, have everything to lose. And until the laws are changed, men should all stand together and JUST SAY NO! Don't get married. And if you do feel you need to get married..have a contract drawn up that will protect you. If she gives you the line that "if you love me, we don't need this". That's the biggest line of bull$hit ever. Once again..she has nothing to lose.
Please understand..I'm not bashing women here. And I certainly know that there are some really rotten men out there. I'm just saying that the current laws are EXTREMELY unfair. And we just stand by and let it happen. 40 years ago, there was a civil rights movement...which involved gaining equality for women. Well...things have flipped 180 degrees. Now the men are the ones who aren't treated equally, and it's not right.


Todd

 

I have not followed this thread but just read all of it.
I am getting married in 2 weeks at the ripe old age of 35. (She is 29)
I am glad that I did not get married earlier in life because I definately WOULD BE DIVORCED RIGHT NOW! I have changed a lot in the past 12 years. I have seen a lot of marriges go wayy south (parents) so I took a lot of my younger years concentrating on me and just kindof roaming around. I finally decided it was time and (belive it or not) said **** it and went on to a on line dating service and met Kelly. BEST DAMN DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE!

We discuss a lot of things about our future, careers, leisure time etc. In Fact, I have a new superglide because of her! We took a few road trips on my Kawasaki ZRX the first 2 years of dating. She fell in love with riding with me. I was at the dealer looking at the Buell's (mainly the Ulysses) and had her sit on it with me. She said if I like it, buy it. I looked at her and said "Well, lets look at a few others. I want something we both would be happy with. " I pulled her over to a Low Rider and the salesman let us both sit on it. She tapped me on the shoulder and said "BUT IT! " 2 weeks later I have a superglide with a sundowner seat and a sissy bar. Keep in mind that we don't make a lot of $$ (we do decent but ain't affluent by any means) so I was a tad reluctant. Her theory was "You worked your *** off this summer, we are getting married soon and plan on taking some long road trips before we have kids. It will be another debt but we will allways have some form of debt and WE will regret it if we don't do it now while we can. "


We were out for dinner the other day for her birthday and disscussed how we will handle life with kids when they come (planning on starting in a year or 2) and we both agreed to make certain that we both get a little alone time in with our hobbies. The plan is this: at least once every month we will surprise each other by setting up a day of freedom. Ie, she would come home from work one day and I would have her friends over for a trip to the city and a show while I watch the kids and take care of the house. In return I would come home from work one day and have my buddy sitting in the driveway with his bike for a good overnight trip on our bikes. I think if we hold to that it would keep the marrige fresh, eliminate the sensation of "civil opression" or animosity towards our domestic life. As the kids get older too it would be a great model for how to balance work, family and fun.

I think the success of a marrige is to clear these issues from the get go. EVERYBODY needs some away time, even from loved ones. I think that way things don't get taken for granted IMO.