Learn slow speed maneuvers well... Stay composed, if you drop it,, so what... Everyone has

 

I remember when the dealer unloaded my first bike after getting my endorsement - I was like WTF did I get myself into - just keep practicing, you'll gain the confidence you seek

 

Everyone has had close calls, but those close calls are great learning tools. This whole experience teaches a lesson as others have said maybe you get out of the way of the idiot driver by speeding up, changing lanes, slowing down and go to the next turn. Maybe you realized that target fixation, looking at the curb, is a real thing. All you can do is learn, every ride teaches me something. On a side note don't let this be a confidence killer, make this a confidence booster, you saw something you didn't like and you reacted, I wasn't there so I don't know if the reaction was right but you reacted none the less, after the reaction you ran into something you probably have never run into, the curb and the sidewalk, and you managed not to drop the bike or hurt yourself I would say that's a confidence booster!

 

a few things that really helped me when I started riding.
Read Proficient Motorcycling by David Hough, excellent book with excellent advice, and it doesn't read like a manual, it's actually well written, and even has some good humor in it.
Bought my first bike in march, rode it in parking lots to practice low speed maneuvers during the day, and on the road during late night rides until I took my msf course that april. I know it sounds crazy, but riding at night was a great thing for me (ymmv) The dark prevented me from "sightseeing" while I rode, it helped me stay focused on the road. It also helped me always make sure I saw other cars on the road because of their headlights until I taught myself to be constantly scanning while riding. As a result, I was hyper aware at night because of the lack of vision, so I was able to ignore the fact that I was nervous about riding because of my inexperience. After I took the MSF course, and started going out on the road more during the day, I was much more comfortable, because I could see so much better.


The biggest factor is going to be time and experience. By June that year I bought my first bike, I was commuting on it daily an hour each way to work out of necessity. So by august that year, I was pretty "comfortable" on the bike, but that was 10K miles in a short span. I say comfortable in quotes because, like someone else had said, you should never get comfortable when riding, confident maybe (but be aware of getting over confident) and no longer nervous for sure, but comfortable? No. I literally look at every cage on the rode as though they intend to do me harm, and ride accordingly. So far that's served me well, with my only time going over being my own stupid fault pulling into my own driveway.

Keep up the practice, get out of the parking lot and onto some low traffic roads. The fact that this is a concern to you is a good thing imho. It means you are aware of your skill level, want to improve, want to be safe, and most importantly, are aware of your mortality.

 

Me and my buddies all rode our bicycles long, hard, and fast when we were kids in the 1960s. Getting onto motorcycles in our teenage years was just a natural extension of what we were already doing. I ride slower now than I did back then.
IMO, riding in traffic is a game of life and death, and takes a "combat" mindset, just like walking into a rough bar or through a bad neighborhood. Seriously, you're fighting for your life out there, which is why I don't like to ride when I'm tired.
I like Sportsters but I'm not a fan of them for a first bike. I'd rather see someone start out on something lighter and more "flickable" but fast enough to run with freeway traffic. A bike like my Suzuki DR650 will do that and light trail riding too.
Keep working on your riding, OP and find some good "conservative" people to ride with. Avoid riding with the Big Dogs for now. Good luck.

 

Just take your time, it will get better with each ride.

 

Threads like this one make so glad I learned to ride at a young age when I was still bullet proof and didn't care as long there was less than 5 stitches or no casts involved.

Don't beat yourself up OP getting started later in life and having seconds thoughts are natural, side effect of having been around long enough to understand it hurts longer than it used to.

 

Early morning rides on Sat & Sun & holidays is a good place to start on the road if you have confidence problems.

 

Practice, practice, practice.....

 

Like was said before, Sunday morning (very early) is a great time to ride, experienced or beginner. I love to head out about 4 a.m. on a Sunday to ride for a while before going to get breakfast with friends.

Keep on keeping on, at your own pace, and soon you will start to notice yourself getting better and more confident. Best of luck, and DO NOT give up! Keep us posted.

Oh yeah, and try to find a friend that has been riding for a long time.