Friend needs Help.
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Elite HDF Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,813
Likes: 6
From: Rio Grande Valley-Texas
Friend needs Help.
I have a buddy who rides, not with me too much but he rides. We met up the other day and for some reason he confided in me. Actually he asked for help. Him and his wife are splitting up and he is having problems with his drinking. He needs help. I suggested AA but dont know how to get him into the group. Maybe someone here can help me point him in the direction. Thanks
Road Warrior
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,277
Likes: 1
From: Haney, British Columbia
I hope your friend gets the help he needs. Confiding in you is a huge step that he needs help. There should be some recovery programs in your area that he might want to check out, and I liked the suggestion from codyshop that you could go and kinda... hold his hand.
I had a friend who went deep into the bottle and although he wasn't a religious man, managed to recognize that he needed to stop. Stop he did. He just decided that he needed to put an end to his drinking, his family left him, and still managed to change direction. He has to work at it everyday, but the best thing he has is his bike. It keeps him sober, of all things. He is proud to ride sober and go to functions and not drink. More and more he works it out. He did it without religion, he did it with support of his riding friends, his willpower and his Road King.
Good luck to your friend, I hope he sees the value.
I had a friend who went deep into the bottle and although he wasn't a religious man, managed to recognize that he needed to stop. Stop he did. He just decided that he needed to put an end to his drinking, his family left him, and still managed to change direction. He has to work at it everyday, but the best thing he has is his bike. It keeps him sober, of all things. He is proud to ride sober and go to functions and not drink. More and more he works it out. He did it without religion, he did it with support of his riding friends, his willpower and his Road King.
Good luck to your friend, I hope he sees the value.
Outstanding HDF Member
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,882
Likes: 1
From: NC
http://www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_fi...fm?origpage=29
Find and get him to a meeting. Tell him to keep an open mind and do what they say. AA is one the best organizations in the world. It's saved many people from the hell of alcoholism. I'm one of 'em.
Find and get him to a meeting. Tell him to keep an open mind and do what they say. AA is one the best organizations in the world. It's saved many people from the hell of alcoholism. I'm one of 'em.
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If your friend is truly your friend help him get the help that he needs. True friends are hard to come by. If this friend of yours is asking for help, it goes a long way toward showing that he admits the problem and is willing to try and beat it. You should consider his problem yours now, because if you reject him there is a good chance he is going to give up and live life in a bottle. When I quit drinking two years ago I had a goal, the money I spent on booze, I bought a Harley, if your friend rides already then he needs some other goal. The AA program has "steps" in my case the steps were not going to help, I needed more encouragement.
The first thing to do (if you are going to help) is go to his place and discard all of the booze, he is probably not going to be able to do it himself. the next thing is to be there for him (try to keep him busy) keep his mind off of it, and the last thing is to remain friends.
If your friend is truly your friend help him get the help that he needs. True friends are hard to come by. If this friend of yours is asking for help, it goes a long way toward showing that he admits the problem and is willing to try and beat it. You should consider his problem yours now, because if you reject him there is a good chance he is going to give up and live life in a bottle. When I quit drinking two years ago I had a goal, the money I spent on booze, I bought a Harley, if your friend rides already then he needs some other goal. The AA program has "steps" in my case the steps were not going to help, I needed more encouragement.
The first thing to do (if you are going to help) is go to his place and discard all of the booze, he is probably not going to be able to do it himself. the next thing is to be there for him (try to keep him busy) keep his mind off of it, and the last thing is to remain friends.
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Extreme HDF Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 12,653
Likes: 18
From: Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
I don't mean to sound cold hearted here, but probably the best advise you could give him is to man-up and stop feeling sorry for himself. He can turn it around all by himself if he really wants to.
And I'm sorry to anyone I just offended. I've had quite a few dealings with people in AA and NA, and around here, they're nothing but a social group for times in between getting drunk or high.
And I'm sorry to anyone I just offended. I've had quite a few dealings with people in AA and NA, and around here, they're nothing but a social group for times in between getting drunk or high.
Road Warrior
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,691
Likes: 3
First and foremost it isn't your responsibility, your duty. You cannot help those who will not help themselves. If he fails to quit drinking then you didn't fail him, he failed you. If you're going to help him then he owes you. You aren't his mommy and daddy though, you aren't playing cop. You aren't going to force him to do jack. He can choose to do it or you'll write him off as a lost cause. I would present it that way. He needs to show you he's really going to do something other than talk before you have any interest in getting emotionally invested in this bs.
The biggest thing is it's a rut. It's easier to keep running in that rut than to get up out of it. He needs a break in the routine, he needs to find something else to do. He needs to go ten days without a drink and the whole alcohol addiction thing is gone. The social part is a whole differant story. Don't buy into the whole woah is me and that's why I got drunk again bs. It's setting there staring at a wall bored thinking how he would really like to get drunk that caused him to get drunk again. Stopping drinking isn't going to make his wife come back. His wife coming back isn't going to make him stop drinking. It's a habit, it's compulsion, it's a rut. Getting caught up in all that woah is me bs is just a distraction from what is really making him drink.
The biggest thing is it's a rut. It's easier to keep running in that rut than to get up out of it. He needs a break in the routine, he needs to find something else to do. He needs to go ten days without a drink and the whole alcohol addiction thing is gone. The social part is a whole differant story. Don't buy into the whole woah is me and that's why I got drunk again bs. It's setting there staring at a wall bored thinking how he would really like to get drunk that caused him to get drunk again. Stopping drinking isn't going to make his wife come back. His wife coming back isn't going to make him stop drinking. It's a habit, it's compulsion, it's a rut. Getting caught up in all that woah is me bs is just a distraction from what is really making him drink.