Greetings!

I hope everybody is out riding and showing the Earthlings what they are missing.

I had an incident that other riders believe but the (many) doctors I have seen have yet another.

I was riding Crankenstein on the road to Flamingo, deep in The Everglades. My friend was ahead of me about 50 meters on a Ducati.

Crankenstein is a Heritage and in great shape.

We both have spent a lot of time on bikes.

Riding conditions were ideal and the scenery unbelievable. The two lane road was deserted.

We stopped at the end of the road ( duh), drank a LOT of water and iced down with 10 pounds of ice.

We were half way back on the forty mile long road from Flamingo to the entrance of the park.

There was NO traffic. The road surface was fine with high brush on sides.

David, my friend saw Crankenstein pass him. I wasn't on the bike.


I was taking a nap in the middle of the road, leaking from what was left of my face (ALWAYS WEAR A FULL FACE MASK).

There were two holes in my knee.

I wasn't scraped at all. My clothes were fine. Crankenstein landed in a tangle of mangroves. It had a cracked front signal light lens cracked fender light (but not the socket) but no scrapes.

My helmet had no dings or scrapes.

My nose looks like topographical map of the Orinoco River Valley and my mouth will keep me from playing any of my saxes, flutes, horns or shouting, "Play some Skynyrd. Wooooo!" for a long time.

The doctors said I was shot.

I have seen a lot of gunshot wounds when I was a Street Rat staff reporter working the disastrophy beat for The New York Post : small entry wound, cone shaped exit and a well defined hole connecting them. There is an inch between them, but they are connected.

It missed most of the mechanics, but I may lose the knee. I'll be hopping mad if that happens.

I was airlifted to the "hospital" then a few more.

I didn't hear a shot.

The entrance and exit wound indicate the "shot" hit me from the right side. I COULD NOT been a road stone. That would have hit me in the front of the leg.

I did not drop the bike. It passed my friend (we were cruising at about 40 M.P.H., strolling along). It didn't fall with me. No scrapes at all on the engine guard. No dents at all.

One doctor I went to threw me out of his office without even wrapping the wound. Two others said, "gunshot". The nurses took pictures with their cell phones.

One of the two hospitals I went to (airlifted and ambulance) diagnosed it as a bullet hole, but at least I got a C.A.T. scan out of them.

I'm a hermit. I don't owe anyone anything - including money. I stay to myself and don't think I have any enemies - that I know about.

Today my nurse declared that I was shot, but, of course, nobody believed her, either.

Can anybody help me figure out that the heck happened? All theories are very welcome.

Thank you.

Be Bad


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You were shot