Not sure if this qualifies because there was no permenent damage to the bike. But looking back on it I have to admit I must have given one deputy sheriff the laugh of a lifetime.

I was cruising along about 60, minding my own business and enjoying the ride when I got hit in the face by a big bug. No surprise there, it happens to everyone, right.

Good thing I ALWAYS wear glasses, cause this one hit square in the center of the left lens. It nearly knocked the glasses off but it also instantly blinded my left eye when it covered the lens in bug guts.

So I'm trying to keep the bike going straight with my right hand and wipe the lens off with the left when I get hit in the right hand by something that felt like a brick. The bike nearly went off the road from the impact and my hand is hurting like hell so I forget about the bug guts and try to pull over and stop to check things out.

As I'm pulling over I can see a police cars lights flashing behind me in my left mirror, the right one is turned completely sideways and worthless.

Once I get the bike stopped and as I'm shutting it off the cop gets out and walks up to me asking if I'm OK. Before I can say a word wondering what he's going to give me a ticket for he starts laughing his head off.

Now I'm confused, I can't see out of one eye, the fingers on my right hand are hurting like hell and this nut is nearly hysterical laughing. I'm just hoping whatever he's laughing about is something that's truly funny and its not because giving me a ticket is going to put him over his quota for the month.

It takes him a minute to catch his breath and call in to cancel the possible DUI arrest. Then while I'm nursing some sore fingers and trying to clean bug guts off my glasses he tells me that he had pulled in behind me just after I hit the bug and was thinking I might be drunk because I was weaving around a little trying to wipe the bug off my glasses. Then he saw a crow fly off some road kill in front of me.

I never saw it because I was trying to get the bug off. He didn't actually see me hit it, but knew I had because there was a sudden explosion of black feathers around me.

What he had though was funny was seeing me when he walked up. Seems that he doesn't get to see many guy's with a face full of bug guts everywhere but his eyes and feathers on his jacket. When I walked over to his car headlights I could see what he was talking about. The front of my leather jacket was peppered with black feathers, as well as other bits and pieces of crow.

Anyway he turned out to be a nice guy, he rides a Road King off duty, and gave me some paper towels and stuck around with his flashing lights on to cover me while I used his headlights to clean off the crow and bug remains.

Amazingly the bike didn't seem to have a mark or feather on it and the mirror just needed to be adjusted and retightened, a 5 minute fix once I got home to my tool box.

 

No story of my own. But i have to tell this. i had been on a short trip for a stay in the hills of Arkansas. I was returning home and was getting a little hungry so i stoped at a road side grill. I parked my bike in front of the Grill right in front of a big picture window. Walked in sat down and gave my order. As i waited and older gentleman about 80 asked my about my bike and said it sho was purty. Asked if it were a harley. And i proudly answered yes. He just laughed an said he had a harley in his younger years. He just chuckled and said it damn near killed him. Well i had to know his story. He said he was in WWII. After the war he wanted him a bike and he bought an old military bike and stripped her down to the bones. Said he was always working on it and had built him a work table about 3 foot off the ground in front of his dads shed. He still lived at home at the time. He built him a ramp so he could ride it up on the table. He told me after the war he drank alot and was a hell raiser. Said his mom and dad were always on him about his drinking. He told me one night after having had way to many to drink he was headed home and pulled up to an intersection beside a gal in a convertible he had seen at the local club and was going to flirt with her. He told me he was easing up to the light and started talking to her and forgot to put his foot down when he stopped. He was so drunk he fell over. The gal laughed and left him laying there. Well he was pissed and got up and ran the dickins out of the bike to the house, it had been raining at home. Well he decided to ride it up on the work table to check out the damage from the fall and as he rode up the wet table the front wheel hit a hammer and he fell back pulling the throttle and launching the bike into the shed on top of his dads car. Now he fell backwards trying to break his fall with his arm and breaking it in the process. Hell he just laughed. He said his parents gave him hell. Said he had been to war and made it without a scratch and came home and damn near killed himself. It was funny to hear him tell it. Just thought i'd share the story...

 

I had been on a nice day ride in the mountains and stopped for gas. I pulled up to a pump at a very busy biker friendly store,forgetting to put the kickstand down. Well as you can imagine as I started to get off the bike falls and pins me to the gas pump. Luckily but embarrassed lots of people came to help.

 

thats got my vote if this was a pole
too funny

 

Ok heres my story, back in 1996 I had a 95 Yamaha Virago 1100, pretty strong bike I thought and I had been riding for years before this happened. Any way one Sunday afternoon after drinking a few with the then father in law to be we decided we needed more beer, knowing that the saddle bags on the bike held a 12 pack each I decided we should take the bike on the long two block journey for beer after riding long enough to see the carry out in sight (block and half thus far) I turn down a freshly paved street with about what was 80 grit blacktop and think this would be a great time to scare tha crap outta dear ole dad right? I give the throttle a quick jab to goose it and the old guy wasnt expecting it falling back reaching out and grabbing my shoulders pulling me back and adding more throttle to the point that I quickly saw blue sky then black top on my left side shredding my leg and arm in between the bike and asphalt, Father in law actually was fine one little bump but the bike was tore up , engine case ,mirror, handle bars , pegs all destroyed. I was able to quickly get the bike back up and get back home with out the law showing up, and feeling the pain of road rash I jumped in the Bronco go get the beer and drink the pain away. By the way the wife to be was more pissed that the bike was beat up than worried about me , go figure , guess thats why shes the ex now.Now I have a cool new wife and 08 Softail custom which is the best thing I have ever ridden and I ve ridden a lot of bikes starting with the 74 norton Commando at the age of 14.

 

"Originally Posted by Citoriplus
Not sure if this qualifies because there was no permenent damage to the bike. But looking back on it I have to admit I must have given one deputy sheriff the laugh of a lifetime.

I was cruising along about 60, minding my own business and enjoying the ride when I got hit in the face by a big bug. No surprise there, it happens to everyone, right.

Good thing I ALWAYS wear glasses, cause this one hit square in the center of the left lens. It nearly knocked the glasses off but it also instantly blinded my left eye when it covered the lens in bug guts.

So I'm trying to keep the bike going straight with my right hand and wipe the lens off with the left when I get hit in the right hand by something that felt like a brick. The bike nearly went off the road from the impact and my hand is hurting like hell so I forget about the bug guts and try to pull over and stop to check things out.

As I'm pulling over I can see a police cars lights flashing behind me in my left mirror, the right one is turned completely sideways and worthless.

Once I get the bike stopped and as I'm shutting it off the cop gets out and walks up to me asking if I'm OK. Before I can say a word wondering what he's going to give me a ticket for he starts laughing his head off.

Now I'm confused, I can't see out of one eye, the fingers on my right hand are hurting like hell and this nut is nearly hysterical laughing. I'm just hoping whatever he's laughing about is something that's truly funny and its not because giving me a ticket is going to put him over his quota for the month.

It takes him a minute to catch his breath and call in to cancel the possible DUI arrest. Then while I'm nursing some sore fingers and trying to clean bug guts off my glasses he tells me that he had pulled in behind me just after I hit the bug and was thinking I might be drunk because I was weaving around a little trying to wipe the bug off my glasses. Then he saw a crow fly off some road kill in front of me.

I never saw it because I was trying to get the bug off. He didn't actually see me hit it, but knew I had because there was a sudden explosion of black feathers around me.

What he had though was funny was seeing me when he walked up. Seems that he doesn't get to see many guy's with a face full of bug guts everywhere but his eyes and feathers on his jacket. When I walked over to his car headlights I could see what he was talking about. The front of my leather jacket was peppered with black feathers, as well as other bits and pieces of crow.

Anyway he turned out to be a nice guy, he rides a Road King off duty, and gave me some paper towels and stuck around with his flashing lights on to cover me while I used his headlights to clean off the crow and bug remains.

Amazingly the bike didn't seem to have a mark or feather on it and the mirror just needed to be adjusted and retightened, a 5 minute fix once I got home to my tool box."



And people say the Wild Hogs isn't a realistic biker movie.

 

Ha Ha very funny, just don't laugh too hard, you'll spill your beer on the keyboard.
But my wife LOVE'S that movie and swears they modeled William Macy's character after me.
I can't convince her that I don't ride a Sporty, fall down, run into or over things every 10 minutes, so it can't be me.

 

First I want to thank everyone for sharing their stories and photos. With so many good stories, I had to take the weekend just to pick the winner. The winner I have chosen is the story from iclick and the livestock trailer, this story really made us laugh. I must admit there were several contenders for this contest so I may do it again soon.

Per my contest rules I will pm iclick for shipping information and he will receive one free “Rack” with “Big Horn” kit. Thanks again to all who participated and feel free to continue the tread.




Jason

 

worst thing I did on a bike was mount a ride off stand on my 84 ASP.
didnt check the ground clearance and took for a ride, first turn out of the drive it almost but didn't flip me.
After checking it the new stand was hitting the Crash bars, what we called them 20yrs ago. I had to change the crash bars out cause I loved the ride off.

 

I have two stories They're both embarrassing, but here goes:


The Peacock:
I was riding with my lady out to the nearest town with a gas station, which was a couple miles away on a 1978 Kawasaki 500cc single cyl street/dirt bike. I was coming back and out of nowhere a peacock ran out in front of me, I slam on the breaks and hit the bird with the front wheel. The impact was just enough to send both of us flying over the handlebars, the bike went one way, we went skidding over the tar & chipped road. In the end I had some bad bumps, bruises and a lot of road rash as did my passenger. We weren't wearing helmets, because we were way too cool for those. We're lucky we didn't get hurt more.

The peacock lived, and the bike was banged up pretty good. I didn't ride motorcycles again until I bought my Sportster last year.


The "Test"

I recently took the Motorcycle road test here in AZ and passed. Unfortunately, the first time I did not pass. I took the first part of the test, and did alright, I was en route to passing. The instructor had me do a hard break, which I did, and it went well. She came back up to me, and pointed to a line drawn in front of me. She said. Ok. this time do the same thing, but turn. This line is a brick wall.

I thought to myself as a rather inexperienced rider.. "That seems a little dangerous doesnt it?" I asked her "I do the same thing, as in accellerate, and start braking at this line, and turn at the same time?" She said "Yup, do the same thing, but this time you turn around this line."

I want to pass this test, so I go around and try it. Needless to say, when I hit the brakes, and attempted to maneuver, the bike threw me to the ground in a hurry. I broke my right rear turn signal, hurt my knee and elbow, banged my helmet up really good, and dented my fuel tank.

She said I scared her. I questioned her description of the maneuver. She claimed she told me not to break till I swerved, but I distinctly remember her telling me over and over "The same thing, but turn." I fixed my bike on my own, because ultimately the burden of responsibility was on me for not questioning a maneuver which I had a feeling was dangerous.

I took the test again a couple weeks ago, and passed just fine. The tester no longer works there.