I am 51 years young and in 1994 at the age of 32 I had what I call now as a moment of clarity. 1994 is when my second Son was born.

I had a Honda Nighthawk that like you I mainly rode to work and back everyday.
Also like you my Wife didn't ride so it was kinda only a "me" thing.

After my second Son was born two things I found out was; it cost twice as much to raise two kids than one and I realized that I had committed myself to caring and supporting not only a Wife but also two children. I might add in 1996, that children number increased by one and I ended up with three great Sons.

I decided that due to the commitment that I had made to my Wife and three Sons I had the responsibility to do whatever I could to insure that I fulfilled my commitment as a Husband and Father. This meant limiting my activities to whenever reasonable to "non-risky" ones.

So I bought life insurance, took up softball and bowling and sold my Nighthawk. I don't recall for sure, but I probably spent the money on diapers and formula I haven't lived my life since always risk free, but I also haven't done any skydiving or mountain climbing.

It turned out that it wasn't a money thing; between football, baseball, trap shooting, cars and all the other activities that my three Sons have participated in over the last 20 years I could have bought quite a few bikes.

The key meaning as I see it, is that I was around for the last 19 years to be able to enjoy all the activities of my three Sons and have been there as a Husband to my Wife and a Dad for my Boys.

And since I'm writing a book here, I'll go ahead and try to explain how I realized the importance of being there as a Dad for my three Sons.


When I was 7 years old my parents divorced. Even though I saw my Dad off and on a few times a year for the most part for the next 20 years he wasn't a regular part of my life.

I didn't have a Dad around to help me learn to change a bicycle tire, ask questions about girls or even teach me to shave. I had to learn those things all by myself.

For years I felt that I was cheated by my Dad not being around to be able to teach me the things that really only a Dad can teach a Son.

However when I became a Dad I realized that my Dad didn't cheat me; I had learned how to change a bicycle tire, know mostly what girls were about and I have always been clean shaven, but I realized that rather my Dad had in fact cheated himself because he had lost the opportunity to be part of all the memories that he could have enjoyed and shared with me.

Memories such as the touchdown saving tackle I made in 1979 to help my team win the conference championship, getting my first varsity letter as a freshman, meeting my first girlfriend, my graduation from High School and from military basic training, my wedding to my beautiful Wife, the birth of my three great Sons and my retirement from the US Air Force, not to mention missing all the daily successes and failures that makes life interesting.

I now do have a good relationship with my Dad, but he will never get back all the memories that he has lost.

So that's why I sold my Honda Nighthawk and relegated myself to only being a cager.

I always missed riding bikes and my Wife knew that, but she appreciated the sacrifice I made for her and our three Boys and on my 50th birthday last year she let me know her appreciation, She took me down to the Harley Dealer and said to me "choose".

I was floored and that's how at age 50 after 18 years of being bikeless I ended up with my "Renee", a 2009 Heritage Classic.
I put on a personalized license plate that say's "Renee 1".
Why did I name it "Renee", why of course my Wife's name is "Renee".

So in short, sell the bike put the money away for a few years and when you kids are 5 years and older, take them to Disneyland and enjoy the memories of being a Dad.

Then in 15 years or so, I bet you're Wife will take you into the local Harley dealer and tell you to "choose". Yes you'll miss riding a bike, but at least you increase your chances of being around to not miss all the memories of being a Dad.

By the way, my Wife and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage on the July 30th and she now rides 70% of the time with me and where are we going on vacation this year. We're headed to Sturgis without the kids.

Good luck on your decision, I know it will not be an easy one.

 

They're easier to sell than they are to get back, once you sell them.

If you don't need the $$$ or the space then hang on to it.

People get killed doin' lots of things..
Didn't you know that?

People die from lots of things as well.
Nobody gets out of here alive.
Didn't you know that?
Lololol..

 

Keep, you WILL regret. Since it is paid off it is actually paying for what little it costs you in fuel savings.

 

That entire post has to be one of the greatest things I've ever read in a discussion forum. Truly advice offered from life experience and the heart.

 

For 13 years Dude all I did was raise my 2 kids and worked. I did what I had to do not what I wanted to do and I do NOT regret it one bit and in fact, I would do it again in no time flat if I had to. If it's paid off and your kids don't need food, clothes and shelter, keep it. If you have to sell it for the benefit of your kids then I can see where a guy would have to let it go. Nothing is more important than your kids, my kid's or anyone's kids!! Keep us posted Dude. and good luck with whatever it is you choose to do.

 

Way before I ever got married I rode then had a bad accident with a drunk cager and almost lost a leg. That left me with a lot to think about. Many times afterwards and after the kids were born I said no way, what if something happens to me? Leaving a widow with 3 kids outweighed any rekindled desire to climb back in the saddle. Then a couple of years back, when my youngest graduated from college I bought back into that call of freedom because I felt I was missing a dwindling opportunity. Reading the forums about cats my age graduating to trikes or calling it quits turned me around. Time just advances like it or not!

Regrets? Yes, sometimes. I would have liked that my son would see two-wheels as I do and I would ride with him. No one in my family will get on anything on two wheels that is motorized so I have joined a couple of clubs and am making do.

I am in the camp of keep the bike and share it with your loved ones. Life is too damn short.

 

That's a tuff one. We have a 15YO. With even one it seems that we spend a good chunk of our time running him around for school, extra curricular stuff. Not easy when there's kids in the picture.

The one thing I've always said to myself is that for me to be the best parent, husband, etc. I need to have my own life as well. That means I have to have some time for myself to do activities that I enjoy. Some of it I try to share with my family. Some of it I need for a little "me" time. The bike is one of those "me time" areas. My family knows it and realizes I'm much happier when I can take some time to myself. I also feel that way with my OL and the 15YO. We all are OK with the other having time for themselves. With little kids finding that time is much harder.

As for the dangerous part, sadly enough there are things I do for work and activities that I enjoy that are far more dangerous than the bike. With that perspective, the "dangerous" in riding a bike isn't even an issue. You're a lot more likely to die taking a shower, driving your car, or of cancer than you are of riding the bike. You can't eliminate all risk out of your life. IMHO.

 

I had a bike in high school when I met my future wife. We rode that bike on dates so she knew from the get go I rode and didn't have a problem with it.

I've had a bike ever since including first born son and then second son born seven years later.

My wife now ex after 28 yrs of marriage loved riding on the back though.
Both grand parents would baby sit if needed.

So I cannot identify with those claiming the responsible thing is to live a sheltered "safe" life because I don't and didn't consider riding a threat to my safety any more than driving a car or truck.

 

We all have to weigh personal circumstances, and everyone's are different. I stopped riding 25 years ago due to lack of free time to do so, and a Wife who saw too many accidents in our area. When my circumstances changed, I decided to return to riding, and I'm happy I did. I sold my bike (FXRS) then, and my new bike (FXSB) is just what I needed. And yes, every Summer I'd pass others and wish I was back on a bike, but that's life for ya. You are the only one who can decide what you need to do - for yourself and for your Family.

 

Thanks guys for all of responses so far. As for a little more information I have a pretty good job an so does my wife so we are doing ok (extra money is always nice). The kids have everything they need plus extras. I will probably keep the bike only if I ride 1000 miles a year. I'm not to worried about an accident. It is more my wife. I got my first bike on my 10th birthday and I know racing motor cross is a lot more dangerous. I have always had some kind of bike other than when I was at college. My dad has riden since before I was born and father in law even longer than that. The bike means a lot to me to being my uncles before he passed away and I bought it off of my aunt an had it shipped here from California and had to work 2 jobs at the time to pay for it.
Thanks guys. Keep them coming. I am enjoying reading these.