When you click on links to various merchants on this site and make a purchase, this can result in this site earning a commission. Affiliate programs and affiliations include, but are not limited to, the eBay Partner Network.
The accessory connector will be a four-wire Deutsch connector--the back of your Service Manual has pics of it and the other connectors HD uses. As mentioned, your HD store can sell you the corresponding male Deutsch connector and pins/sockets for the wire ends.
You don't mention the amperage of the auxilary lights you are using. HD fog lamps and Motolights use a relay--the switch controls the relay--not the power to the lights. HD passing lamps, being lower amperage, don't use a relay.
The accessory connector has a ground wire, a brake light circuit wire, an ignition/run light circuit, and an accessory circuit wire. Your service manual will help you identify which wire goes to each circuit.
Slideshow: Jason Momoa's latest restoration project blends 1920s Harley-Davidsons with modern electric technology, creating some of the most unusual hybrid motorcycles ever built.
Harley-Davidson Fat Boy Becomes a Dark, Decepticon-Inspired Custom
Slideshow: Killer Custom's latest build relies on styling changes rather than performance upgrades, giving the cruiser an entirely different personality.
7 Surprising Harley-Davidson Products that Are Not Motorcycles
Slideshow: The bar-and-shield logo shows up on far more than motorcycles, some of the company's most unexpected products have nothing to do with riding.
Slideshow: From the troubled AMF years to modern misfires, these bikes earned reputations for reliability issues, questionable engineering, or disappointing performance.
Crazy Bunderbike Build Looks Amazing, But Is It Impossible to Ride?
Slideshow: The Swiss custom shop has taken a Harley Softail and stretched it into something so long and low that it looks closer to a rolling sculpture than a conventional motorcycle.