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The main thing is a top-end 4-season backpacking tent with a separate rain fly and plenty of screened windows with zip-up storm flaps - the more, the better. Pricey, but money well spent. Minimum size would be 3 person. Believe me, a teeny little tent ain't worth the small amount of packed space you'll save. Also, a Camp Rest brand inflatable sleeping pad is well worth the price. With these two items, all the rest is secondary when it comes to a comfortable night's sleep. Naturally, a good quality sleeping bag is a must-have item. A down-filled bag will always take up considerably less packing space than an equivilent temp rated man-made filler model. My 30 degree-rated down bag can be compressed down to the size of a softball with compression straps. Add a small multi-fuel stove and you're all set.
I would suggest REI for your gear. They have the best top end equipment at great prices. You should go to one of their stores if you can and try out the different tents and sleeping bags till you find what really suits your needs, and these stores are staffed with folks that actually use the equipment themselves and are generally extremely knowledgable, patient and helpful. You can't do this with the mail order stores like Campmor etc.
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