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I had the same probllem. I put a air ride system on it. When I get in gravel, need to backup or riding 2 up I drop the height of the bike. Drops the center of gravity much lower and I stand up and lock it between my knees at a stop. Works great, especially with the wife on the back. 09 UC was 2 tall for me. I had no problem on my 06 UC. Arnott AR system works great for me. I lowered bike is much easier to control.
Hope you find a solution that'll let you keep the RG, but if not I think a softail would be a good choice. They're so low they're almost impossible to drop.
Back in 84 I went down and ripped my right leg off just below the knee. Broke 3 bones in 5 places and crushed my ankle.
Two main rods on each side. Two many pins and screws to remember and a lot of rehab.
A few years ago I had my right knee done (torn miniscus and ACL damage) Now at 46 my left knee hurts every day.
Don't know why I needed to tell you all that. Your pain is just as real.
I guess I just wanted to show how what I did helped me with it all.
My leg and knees hurt like hell after a day on my Road Glide until I made some modifications.
The Road Glide is a lot wider then the Wide Glide (touring bikes vs softails) The puts your legs out more and that angle is what puts the strees (or was in my case) on your legs.
If you lower the bike front and back with progressive springs and shocks (heavy duty in your case) it will be less of an angle and less stress on the injured leg. Your closer to the ground and your knees are bent more so it equals the amount of stress more evenly from foot to hip.
The new progressive 430's are said to be awesome. In 11 1/2" you would drop the RG 1 1/2" (I went 2" w/ 440's but a lot lighter then you)
That may not sound like a lot but it makes a huge difference. Look at what 7/8" of floor board extention can do. I made 1" extentions for my new Electra Glide and again, the stress on my knees was reduced to nothing with that little adjustment.
Might want to check into some physical therapy. Have a blown out right knee, been under the knife 3 times and this has helped me in the past. NOT a good feeling having the knee buckle with the weight of an ULTRA on it. As said maybe a good pair of boots to support the ankle would help. If all else fails, I'd look at a landinggear or something similar.
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