How do I tell him ?
Outstanding HDF Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,424
Likes: 0
From: Hoboken, New Jersey
RE: How do I tell him ?
If he got right back on......then let him alone. His mental condition must be adequate, and I am sure he will know when to hang up the helmet & gloves for good. I would think if he just likes to put around town, and go visiting he will be fine.
If anything at all.....I would just start out by telling him that it might be best for him to stay off the freeway with the bike.....that way you will at least have your foot in the door. If you need to take it to the next level.....do it.....but cross that bridge when the time comes.
If anything at all.....I would just start out by telling him that it might be best for him to stay off the freeway with the bike.....that way you will at least have your foot in the door. If you need to take it to the next level.....do it.....but cross that bridge when the time comes.
Stellar HDF Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,029
Likes: 449
From: Michigan
RE: How do I tell him ?
It's a hard situation to be in. I'm having the same thoughts about my dad who is 70. He keeps insisting on wanting to make this trip to Wyoming this year which is 1200 miles. I don't thing he or his 750 Honda are up to it. He also wants to come down to the HD Forums get together this summer. I'm hoping a few longer in state trips may help convince him he needs to slow down. And like you every time I bring it up I hear "I was riding bikes when you weren't even a speck on the horizon." Or something to that effect. Good Luck and I hope it works out before something serious happens. I know that's my bigest concern.
Ultimate HDF Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 8,642
Likes: 6
From: Forest Lake, Mn
RE: How do I tell him ?
Sort of outta subject matter, but right on in context.
My Grandfather, died at 88, from a broken neck. He fell out of a huge elm tree.
He was a mastman in the German Navy, during the days of wooden ships. He climbed masts and rigged sails. So he liked heights.
As he aged, my aunts, fearing for his safety, had 2 of my uncles "remove" the extension ladder from his farm, and stored it at one of my uncle's farms.
Grandpa stopped speaking to the 'kids'.
Finally my Dad and his other BIL, wentto the farm, retrieved the ladder, and gave it back to Grandpa. The next spring, he fell from a tree.
As "upset" as everyone was, Dad and my Grandma, both said the exact same thing, "Well, he died happy, doing what he 'loved' to do." And they would much rather have that, than have him living 'miserably' and angry.
Draw your own conclusions. Do you let'em keepriding or not? Tis a tough one.
My Grandfather, died at 88, from a broken neck. He fell out of a huge elm tree.
He was a mastman in the German Navy, during the days of wooden ships. He climbed masts and rigged sails. So he liked heights.
As he aged, my aunts, fearing for his safety, had 2 of my uncles "remove" the extension ladder from his farm, and stored it at one of my uncle's farms.
Grandpa stopped speaking to the 'kids'.
Finally my Dad and his other BIL, wentto the farm, retrieved the ladder, and gave it back to Grandpa. The next spring, he fell from a tree.
As "upset" as everyone was, Dad and my Grandma, both said the exact same thing, "Well, he died happy, doing what he 'loved' to do." And they would much rather have that, than have him living 'miserably' and angry.
Draw your own conclusions. Do you let'em keepriding or not? Tis a tough one.
Road Warrior
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,383
Likes: 3
From: Texas City, TX
RE: How do I tell him ?
ORIGINAL: whaap
You don't have to tell him anything. He already knows. I'll be 74 this coming July and can speak from experience. My age which equates to strength, dexterity, coordination, et. al. is the main reason I no longer ride "big" bikes and find myself lovingthe Sportster 1200 C that I have. Even though the Sportster is claimed to be more difficult to ride than some of the big twins it is working well for me. I don't know how much longer I will be able to enjoy my present state. I hate to say it butthis past year is the first time I have had to admit I'm starting to feel my age. Baring any unseen surprises I see myself with a trike somewhere down the road. In the meantime I sure am enjoying my little hot rod.
You don't have to tell him anything. He already knows. I'll be 74 this coming July and can speak from experience. My age which equates to strength, dexterity, coordination, et. al. is the main reason I no longer ride "big" bikes and find myself lovingthe Sportster 1200 C that I have. Even though the Sportster is claimed to be more difficult to ride than some of the big twins it is working well for me. I don't know how much longer I will be able to enjoy my present state. I hate to say it butthis past year is the first time I have had to admit I'm starting to feel my age. Baring any unseen surprises I see myself with a trike somewhere down the road. In the meantime I sure am enjoying my little hot rod.
So....the smaller bike may well be a viable option for your friend or the trike/sidecar route. Either way, the suggestions that some have made that he get a physical exam by a doctor isn't a bad idea either, especially if he hasn't had one in a while. Talk to him and express your concerns but do it in a polite and concerned way. You don't have to bring up the notion that he shouldn't be riding any more. Just get him thinking about it. As Whaap said, he already knows, but sometimes we can go through significant period of self denial.
Good luck with this!
Steve R,
Road Warrior
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,600
Likes: 2
From: Windsor, CO
RE: How do I tell him ?
Not sure there is an easy way to do it, other than telling him exactly what you've seen. If he's stubborn then he's not going to listen anyway, so it don't matter how you tell him. On the other hand, it may be that he just needs a little bump to recognize the problem himself.
My pop stopped riding at 70 ... parked it one day and said it "was time." Maybe we should put kick starters back on bikes. If you can't kick start it then you can't ride it.
My pop stopped riding at 70 ... parked it one day and said it "was time." Maybe we should put kick starters back on bikes. If you can't kick start it then you can't ride it.
Thread Starter
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Road Captain
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 685
Likes: 3
From: South central, Pa.
RE: How do I tell him ?
Thanks for all of the suggestions guys. As far as health goes, that's a big part of the problem because he's been trying to recover from heart surgery all winter and he's not coming along as well as his doctors expected. He's been walking when he feels up to it but you can tell he doesn't have much of his strength back. Downsizing to a smaller bike was done a few years ago when he bought a Yamaha Virago 750. When I picked it up yesterday, it seemed kinda top heavy so maybe that bike didn't really help the situation. A trike kit would be a great option and I'll try to come up with a way to suggest that to him. Even if he likes the idea, I'm afraid the cost of a conversion will be high because he'll need to have reverse built in. And...the next challenge is his wife. I know she'll never agree to spend more money to keep him on the road. She's never ridden so he's been catching hell ever since he bought the first bike.
We really enjoy riding with him and going along with us gets him out of the house but his safety is more important than anything.
We really enjoy riding with him and going along with us gets him out of the house but his safety is more important than anything.
Road Warrior
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,602
Likes: 0
From: Maryland
RE: How do I tell him ?
Man I had a bike fall over on me when I was 18. Having a bike fall over on you isn't to say you should give up riding. Perhaps as others suggested a lighter bike should be in order. But to tell someone to quit riding at that age is pretty drastic. Unless he was falling over all the time I wouldn't go that route.
Big Kahuna HDF Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 23,881
Likes: 34
From: USA
RE: How do I tell him ?
Get him a smaller, lower, lighter bike. Like a XL1200c. If you tell him to stop riding he will tell you to F**k off. But if you have a beer or coffee with him and tell him you think he may enjoy riding on a lighter bike more than the one he has (don't say smaller) then you give him a solution that doesn't hurt his feelings. One of the worst things for a guy is to lose his wheels which equates to losing his personal freedom. This cuts deeper for the motorcyclist as he is emotionally attached to his ride.
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Ultimate HDF Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 9,486
Likes: 4
From: Hico, TX (once home to Billy the Kid)
RE: How do I tell him ?
Why do you feel it's your job?
He knows. He knows he's not what he used to be.
He's trying to live. Not sit in a diaper eating pablum.
If you want to go faster, do it.
He was probably riding when you were a twinkle in your dads eyes. Maybe before that.
Let the man be.
He knows. He knows he's not what he used to be.
He's trying to live. Not sit in a diaper eating pablum.
If you want to go faster, do it.
He was probably riding when you were a twinkle in your dads eyes. Maybe before that.
Let the man be.
