Ahhhhh...is your mom single? would consider explaining the whole thing to you after we rode ohhh lets say....how does a couple years work for you?

 

Girl's got game!

I was thinking I wasn't going to respond to this, but your post about him spending "24x7" in the garage or on the bike piqued my interest.

So far you've established yourself as having a head on your shoulders, so it's possible you're not exaggerating too much, but consider this: If he's really that obsessed about something, or at least obsessed enough that you feel the way you do, then the bike isn't really the problem, it's the symptom. Give him any hobby and he'll be that focused on it. So, is someone that obsessive someone you want to be with long term? That's your decision, but consider it up front rather than down the road.

Alternately (maybe a harder question), is he really spending a reasonable amount of time with the bike and it's a bit of a shock to you that's used to him doting on you? Maybe you can alter your perceptions of the situation. Likely that's why you're here doing the asking you're doing. Cross-checking, as it were.

These are two extremes for a situation I don't know much about the details of, so I'm just offering what I can. I can tell you that I get a little "focused" on things sometimes and my wife has to pull me back from oblivion. It's worse when we both get obsessed about something; we've been known to spend entire weekends researching something we're interested in maybe doing (it ususally has something to do with travel), then come Monday we realize that there were a bunch of things we should have been doing, like showering or getting dressed (don't think I'm exaggerating). If one of us has a clear head, then we can keep an eye on the other. If both of us are in it, watch out.

The best advice refinement I can give you is to go riding out in the countryside. I was only in Philly once for a few days, and stayed downtown the whole time. I'd be surprised, though, if you couldn't get somewhere that there are only a few houses per square mile within half an hour or so. By Google Maps, it looks like heading due East to the Chatsworth, NJ area is an appropriate "getting out" type of ride. Of course, from a satellite view, it's kind of hard to tell...

Good luck.

 

Why are you here bitching about it? Get out there and polish up his chrome for him then fix him a nice supper after running down to the 7-Eleven for a 12-pack of cold ones. If you gonna date a biker, you need to get your priorties straight. Maybe he has failed to train you properly.

 

BadBob… Maybe in Oklahoma women wait on you hand and foot, BUT its not the 1920’s anymore. Snap out of it buddy! You will get a lot more chicks!

 

Ya know..I am getting to like this girl![sm=icon_rock.gif]

 

Upon further consideration I think you should take the MSF course, get your license, dump him and keep the bike It would have been a good idea from the start to explain what the issues were to you. One thing you have to recognize is that those obsessions are a means to relieve anxiety. Really, when it comes right down to it, those that are obsessive and compulsive are anxious individuals. Keeping the obsessions and compulsions under control is largely an exercise in keeping the stress under control.

You might consider keeping a journal. Write down the things you are aware of that happen that you think would cause him stress. Keep track of the time he spends tinkering around on, polishing and riding the bike. You can get caught up in the day to day details and fail to notice the more stressed out he is the more time he spends polishing the bike. Look back at the time he bought the sportster and when he traded it in on the street bob. Often they do it and you go along with it because something major happened in their life. A loved one falls ill, they have a new boss at work, ect. Fighting with him over what he's doing to relieve stress just makes things worse. You might manage to get him to give up the bike, but you may like what he replaces it with even less.

 

LilBudy... I do not want him to give up the bike. and we work together...trust me when i say he has the most un-stressful job --he gets to play all day. Nothing dramatic has changed...he just likes bigger and better things, like most men. Which i understand... but $$$$ is a biggg issue. I told him when you change something on a bike it causes a chain effect... one upgrade leads to having to change the wiring system to changing the air filter etc... obviously things cost money but i dont see why put tons of money into something your not going to keep?? maybe its me.

 

Well, if you love him! Really Love him, give riding a chance for yourself! You seem like a cool girl, i promise you, if you go take your permit, take the course, your gonna fall head over heels in love with riding, as much as your man. And then you can do it together! It's honestly the most awesome thing I have ever done, I waited till I was 38, don't wait that long. I missed some good riding years.!

 

ya, and if you really love him....a threesome should be in order!!!!

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Michele.... actually i just called the Motorcycle safety course...and they are all booked!! probly shouldnt have waited until spring to sign up!! But i found out its free! so i am signing up for the next class...i dont want a bike ( or another bill i should say ) but at least i will know how to ride one if i ever need too! Thanks for the advise!!!