Sportster Models 883, 883 Custom, 1200 Custom, 883L, 1200L, 1200S, 1200 Roadster, XR1200, and the Nightster.
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  #1  
Old 06-12-2014, 05:02 PM
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Ill copy n paste the text, use the link while it lasts

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mcy/4517090625.html

I should start by saying that if you are looking for a "Pajama party Barbie Motorcycle" you my friend, should keep looking. If you are looking for a short description of to the beast before you, I can offer you two words "MEAT & POTATOES". This is the All American chariot of the free world.
You are not dealing with any ordinary, cookie cutter motorcycle son. This thing was forged from all American Steel. Real sturdy! I started commanding this monster since 2009 and from that day forward my life has never been the same. Ride yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this Harley Davidson Nightster.
So if you are looking for a rice burning plastic bike, a solar powered liberal mobile, keep on looking my friend this thing is a gritty, no-nonsense piece of red white and blue Americana Machinery.
This baby's pulse is pumping uncensored raw fuel through her 45º v-twin nuclear power plant. And rest assured this is no metro feminine automatic. . .you command her to obey, with your calloused hand planted firmly on the clutch. And with a growl as you downshift she will obey, the first time, every time. With forward controls, if you can't handle or reach the shifter pedal, you better not ferry skip over here wanting to test drive her. If you stall her out, you can count on getting hit in the face with a piece of re-bar and sent back where you came from.
Does it have ac / hand warmers, are you kidding me. . ..Really? If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old fashioned way: thundering down the road with 60 mph winds. "What if it rains?". . .You whiney bitch! I told you to stop reading. . . Any man who drives this beast doesn't give a damn about rain. Not even skin melting acid rain, Cause he's already dripping wet in blood, sweat, dip spit, and fish guts.
If you are looking for the kind of motorcycle that has to be pansy parked in the garage, so "it doesn't get all wet or dirty" Then you should plant your Obama sticker on some Japanese piece of s***. Cause this blacked out, air cooled monster of a bat-bike was created for those who get messy. Because you are William Wallace from Braveheart and when you get home you can leave your "sissy sponge glove car wash kit" in the pink bucket it came in.

And forget about putting one of those "It's a Harley Thing. . .You wouldn't understand" stickers on this machine cause when you're spotted in this American Classic there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . . . .real quick.
If you think you're ready to park this panty hauler on your tract of land. If you buy this motorcycle you better go get your old lady ready for some damn changes around your lair, cause this s** will be happening. What will be Happening? Glad you asked. . ..
1. More chest hair.
2. You're growing a beard.
3. Meat Only Diet.
4. You're taking a job at the lumber mill.
5. [Expletive Deleted]
6. Wire bristled toothbrush.
7. Sex in the yard.
8. Sex in the garage.
9. All male offspring.
10. Chiseled jaw line.
11. Not giving a damn.
12. Flesh turning to steel.
13. Higher salary
14. Promotions.
15. Better looking wives.
16. Better looking mistresses.
17. More golfing
18. More tools in your garage.
19. Bigger TV
20. Wife takes out the trash
21. Wife brings trash can in from road.
22. Wife stops bitching about clothes on floor.
23. Wife stocks fridge with beer.
24. Steaks for dinner.
25. Winning the Lottery.
26. Women on the side.
27. Building sh** out of stone.
28. Riding Lawn Mower.
29. Bon Fires in cul-de-sac.
30. Bar Fights.
31. Wife picks you up from The Gentlemen's Club.
32. Craftsman Tools.
33. Welding stuff.
34. Digging holes.
35. Huge Piece of meat.
Put your GPS back in your purse.
Sounds good doesn't it?
This motorcycle has carried me through 16,205 miles of battlefield twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie "300″. . ..And just like a trusty steed this juggernaut has never left me stranded.
But if you think you're going to get to whip this mule you better pony up Fifty Nine Hundred Dollars. . .American Cash. I'm not selling you this motorcycle unless you are clearly a pure blooded American Species, so don't even think about it.
 
  #2  
Old 06-12-2014, 08:01 PM
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that's great, that's some talented writing, I LOL the whole thing after the "you whining bitch!" that's a classic.
 
  #3  
Old 06-12-2014, 08:21 PM
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Nice fairy tale.
 
  #4  
Old 06-12-2014, 08:37 PM
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That's awesome salesmanship.
 
  #5  
Old 06-12-2014, 08:51 PM
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someone will buy that, and within the same week be on the general chat forum believing all of that is true.
 
  #6  
Old 06-12-2014, 09:36 PM
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  #7  
Old 06-12-2014, 09:50 PM
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That is some funny ****! I want that bike so I can do all those things!
 
  #8  
Old 06-12-2014, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by tree88
someone will buy that, and within the same week be on the general chat forum believing all of that is true.
you mean it's not true? Damn, I thought because I just read it, my life would turn around ......
 
  #9  
Old 06-13-2014, 04:31 AM
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BWAHAhahahahaha !!
 
  #10  
Old 06-13-2014, 05:56 AM
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I loved it!!! That guy was hilarious. Great writing.
 


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