Possible New Rules for The No Rules Crew
#1
08-30-2011, 06:00 PM
Possible New Rules for The No Rules Crew
Ok I don't know if these would ever be accepted by the female members, but I'm sure they will have input on the on no rules, rules for the guys.
And probably have some of their own..
1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss's car.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his buddies.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is
off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops,
not the weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you
may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.
11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
you're sunning on a tropical beach, and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you
allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.
16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated
as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman
must remain sober enough to fight.
18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice
of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be
talking about his choice of beer.
20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of
yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
footing (i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.). For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
22. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on
longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
23. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a
friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
24. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not
acceptable for her to drive yours.
25. Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime
green, orange or sky blue.
26. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
We hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.
And probably have some of their own..1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss's car.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his buddies.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is
off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
another man.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops,
not the weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you
may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.
11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
you're sunning on a tropical beach, and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you
allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.
16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated
as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman
must remain sober enough to fight.
18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice
of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be
talking about his choice of beer.
20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of
yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
footing (i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.). For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
22. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on
longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
23. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a
friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
24. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not
acceptable for her to drive yours.
25. Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime
green, orange or sky blue.
26. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
We hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.
Last edited by kimbo; 08-30-2011 at 06:08 PM.
#2
08-30-2011, 06:29 PM
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08-30-2011, 06:34 PM
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and while I can see this in most cases- I would kill the bastage that tried enforcing #24.... 
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08-30-2011, 07:57 PM
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08-30-2011, 08:06 PM
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08-31-2011, 07:24 AM
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