Biker jokes
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Tourer
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 422
Likes: 3
From: PA
Biker jokes
Biker jokes or any good jokes post them if you got them.
__________________________________________________ ___________
A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of no where, parks his bike and walks inside.
As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker.
"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?"
The ole biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs "Why yes, honey, I sure am".
The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash them hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger".
__________________________________________________ ___________
A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of no where, parks his bike and walks inside.
As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker.
"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?"
The ole biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs "Why yes, honey, I sure am".
The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash them hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger".
Seasoned HDF Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 46,845
Likes: 22,534
From: Land of the Free, Home of Jack Daniel's
A biker & his wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little teddy that she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband & says, "Honey, Do you remember this?"
He looks up at her & says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."
She says, "That's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"
He nods & says, "Yes dear, I still remember."
"Well, what is it?" she asks.
He responds, "Well honey, as I remember, I said, "Ohhhhhhh Baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big **** & screw your brains out."
She giggles & says, "Yes honey, that's it. That's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"
Again he looks her up & down & finally replies, "Mission Accomplished."
He looks up at her & says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."
She says, "That's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"
He nods & says, "Yes dear, I still remember."
"Well, what is it?" she asks.
He responds, "Well honey, as I remember, I said, "Ohhhhhhh Baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big **** & screw your brains out."
She giggles & says, "Yes honey, that's it. That's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"
Again he looks her up & down & finally replies, "Mission Accomplished."
Cruiser
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 214
Likes: 0
From: Leesburg, FL
The Horse, Chicken and the Harley
> On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play
> together.One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog
> and began to sink.
> Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the
> farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the
> farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he
> had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken
> spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the
> chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save
> his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy,
> to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a
> hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the
> other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then
> drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the
> horse!
>
> Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and
> the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between
> the two animals was cemented, Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks
> later, the chicken fell in to a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink
> and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment,
> walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
> Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "hangy-down thingy"
> and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip,
> and th e horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
>
> The moral of the story
>
> yep, there is a moral !!!
>
>
> (scroll down)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick UpChicks'
> On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play
> together.One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog
> and began to sink.
> Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the
> farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the
> farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he
> had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken
> spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the
> chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save
> his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy,
> to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a
> hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the
> other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then
> drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the
> horse!
>
> Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and
> the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between
> the two animals was cemented, Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks
> later, the chicken fell in to a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink
> and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment,
> walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
> Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "hangy-down thingy"
> and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip,
> and th e horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
>
> The moral of the story
>
> yep, there is a moral !!!
>
>
> (scroll down)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick UpChicks'
Outstanding HDF Member
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,993
Likes: 0
From: wisconsin
Lmfao!! A bunch of f****ng comedians we have here..lol..
Trending Topics
Ultimate HDF Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,181
Likes: 0
From: Fort Worth, TX
The Horse, Chicken and the Harley
> On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play
> together.One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog
> and began to sink.
> Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the
> farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the
> farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he
> had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken
> spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the
> chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save
> his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy,
> to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a
> hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the
> other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then
> drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the
> horse!
>
> Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and
> the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between
> the two animals was cemented, Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks
> later, the chicken fell in to a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink
> and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment,
> walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
> Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "hangy-down thingy"
> and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip,
> and th e horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
>
> The moral of the story
>
> yep, there is a moral !!!
>
>
> (scroll down)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick UpChicks'
> On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play
> together.One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog
> and began to sink.
> Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the
> farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the
> farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he
> had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken
> spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the
> chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save
> his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy,
> to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a
> hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the
> other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then
> drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the
> horse!
>
> Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and
> the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between
> the two animals was cemented, Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks
> later, the chicken fell in to a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink
> and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment,
> walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
> Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "hangy-down thingy"
> and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip,
> and th e horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
>
> The moral of the story
>
> yep, there is a moral !!!
>
>
> (scroll down)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick UpChicks'
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