IDIOT SIGHTINGS
Banned
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,349
Likes: 2
From: Appling GA
RE: IDIOT SIGHTINGS
Well you walk in a citgo and ask how to say the name of the place...
Why wouldnt she think you were stupid?
Thats what youget for buying Bolivian oil anyways
Why wouldnt she think you were stupid?
Thats what youget for buying Bolivian oil anyways
ORIGINAL: mrb302
I had a similar one a few years back...
I was traveling up I77 through Virginia and came to a town called "Wytheville". I stopped in at a Citgo for gas and a drink.
In the past I had heard some people call it With-ville and some poeple call it why-th-ville, so I asked the girl at the counter:
"How do you pronounce the name of this place?"
She looked at me like I was stupid and said "Sit-go".
I said thanks and hit the door.
I had a similar one a few years back...
I was traveling up I77 through Virginia and came to a town called "Wytheville". I stopped in at a Citgo for gas and a drink.
In the past I had heard some people call it With-ville and some poeple call it why-th-ville, so I asked the girl at the counter:
"How do you pronounce the name of this place?"
She looked at me like I was stupid and said "Sit-go".
I said thanks and hit the door.
Banned
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,349
Likes: 2
From: Appling GA
RE: IDIOT SIGHTINGS
most peoples emails work without a phone line... I mean hell its almost 2008
And dont fek with the carpenters
And dont fek with the carpenters
ORIGINAL: dynamike74
This week, My phone went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see howhe would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by e-mail. I asked him, "Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?"
This week, My phone went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see howhe would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by e-mail. I asked him, "Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?"
Tourer
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 342
Likes: 1
From:
RE: IDIOT SIGHTINGS
x2lee, if your using DSL or god forbid, dial-up, like a lot of rural folks have to put up with, phone goes out, so does puter and e-mail. Still a lot of places where cable or wireless not available. I have a brother in ARK, who is stuck with dial-up probably till ark gets into the 21st century. BTW, these are the funniest stories I have heard in a long time. Renews my faith in the human race LOL
Cruiser
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 177
Likes: 0
From: Cocoa Beach, FL
RE: IDIOT SIGHTINGS
These are purportedly from actual military "squawk sheets." Squawk sheets are maintenance forms filed by the flight crews to inform the maintenance crews of problems with the aircraft.
Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
Problem: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution 1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Solution 2: "#1,#3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Solution: "IT DOES NOW."
Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."
Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."
Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on order.
Problem: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That's what they're there for.
Problem: Right engine sounds like little man with little hammer on shut down
Solution: Remove hammer from little man
Problem: Cockpit is infested with little white spiders
Solution: stomp and squish as required
[hr]
[/align]
Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
Problem: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution 1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Solution 2: "#1,#3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Solution: "IT DOES NOW."
Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."
Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."
Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on order.
Problem: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That's what they're there for.
Problem: Right engine sounds like little man with little hammer on shut down
Solution: Remove hammer from little man
Problem: Cockpit is infested with little white spiders
Solution: stomp and squish as required
[hr]
[/align]
Club Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 10,815
Likes: 16
From: Virginia
RE: IDIOT SIGHTINGS
We had a message on our answering machine today from someone trying to sell something I am guessing. Anyways the message said something like this...
"Hello. You have an important message waiting for you. If you press 1 you can listen to the message. If you are not home and unable to retrieve the important message at this time please press 2."
Ummm [sm=WTFsgign.gif]
We all started laughing when we heard that and had to rewind it to see if we heard it right and of course we did. [sm=icon_rofl.gif]
It also went on to say something about us thanking them or some $hit. Yea people, I really want to thank you for leaving telemarketing calls with idiotic statements in them.[sm=laughat.gif]
I ended up deleting it after a good laugh. Screw their important message I don't want it... besides, I tried to press 2 and it didn't work anyways. [8D]
"Hello. You have an important message waiting for you. If you press 1 you can listen to the message. If you are not home and unable to retrieve the important message at this time please press 2."
Ummm [sm=WTFsgign.gif]
We all started laughing when we heard that and had to rewind it to see if we heard it right and of course we did. [sm=icon_rofl.gif]
It also went on to say something about us thanking them or some $hit. Yea people, I really want to thank you for leaving telemarketing calls with idiotic statements in them.[sm=laughat.gif]
I ended up deleting it after a good laugh. Screw their important message I don't want it... besides, I tried to press 2 and it didn't work anyways. [8D]
Ultimate HDF Member
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 8,423
Likes: 2
From: Ellenwood, GA - The Ghetto Part
RE: IDIOT SIGHTINGS
ORIGINAL: RexBuck
or even scarier, vote.
ORIGINAL: Wally
Many of them may even be able to spell licences.
Many of them may even be able to spell licences.
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