***WARNING: No refunds will be given for any time wasted reading this useless post ***

So as I sit here watching the snow fall, I ponder about the complexity and arduous feat that is to ride a motorcycle. It is not by chance that only the few and the proud ride, the rest just drive.

Ever wonder what you go through when you ride? Let’s see:

So you get a bike. You now have to decide about what oil to use…HD brand, Mobil 1, Rotella, Valvoline, Redline? Then you have to choose from conventional, semi-synthetic, fully synthetic, with Ether or without. Do you use the same in all three holes or do you use different types? What about the oil filter? Do you get K&N? maybe OEM, but if OEM, do you get black or chrome? Maybe something generic? What is this 5 micron stuff that I read about? Probably not important, but then, maybe it is.

OK, you now have oil on your machine and are ready to ride. Should you wear jeans or shorts? Flip-flops, sneakers or boots? Maybe a jacket or just a t-shirt? Decisions, decisions. Wait, did you get a helmet? Should you wear a half helmet? ž’s, full helmet? If full, do I get a conventional or modular? DOT, SNELL or ECE? Should I wear gloves as well? If so, do I get leather or fabric? Cowhide or deerskin?

All right! I am now dressed and ready to ride. I walk over to the bike. Did I remember to get the key FOB? I wonder if the battery in it is good or will it leave me stranded? Do I remember the PIN number? Do I even know how to use it? And while I am standing here, should I check the air in the tires? Should I put air in them or wait to go to the dealer and get Harley air so I don’t void the warranty?.

As I look at the bike, I wonder if I should mount from the left or the right side. Should I also disconnect the battery charger before I get on or after I am sitting in it? Oh wait! Did I remember to unlock the forks? Were they even locked? I guess I’ll find out. Sweet, I am now ready to turn the beast on, Should I turn it on inside the garage or roll it outside and turn it on then? What did they say in the forums to do? I am ready to turn the bike on but I forgot if I should turn it on in neutral or in first gear with the clutch in? What was it again? Oh well, I’ll try in neutral and see what happens.

The bike is now running and it sounds mean and vicious! What a beast. OK, As I get ready to roll, do I lift both feet as I start moving or do drag them until I have picked up speed? What the heck, let’s just go. Now I am rolling down the street but I can’t decide if I should ride on the left, the middle or the right? Which makes more sense? What did they say again about how far I should ride behind the car ahead of me? Was it 5 feet? One or two car lengths? As I change gears I wonder if I should ride at high RPM's or maybe at 1800 RPMs so I don't overwork the bike. Let's do 2400 RPMs and see what happens.

Oh no! a curve is up ahead. Do I turn the handlebars or lean my body? Is this where I am supposed to use counter-steering? Well, I’ve seen professional riders lean their body so I will try that. Holy ****, what is that scraping noise?!!! Did I just leave half a floorboard in the asphalt? Note to self, no leaning or bring a spare set of underwear.

Is that a stop sign ahead? Wait, do I stop, then bring a foot down? Which one, left or right? Maybe it’s both feet. And how do I brake? With the front brake or the left? Maybe I can use both, but if I use both, do I use the front one more or maybe the back one more, or is it 50/50? Good. I stopped. Now, how long should I wait? A second? Maybe two? Heck, let’s just go.

Oh darn it! I am running low on gas. Let’s head over to the gas station. Should I use a name brand or generic gas? There’s a BP ahead. I’ll use that one. OK, the gas pump is on the right. Do I get off from the right side or the left? Did I remember to put down the kickstand and should I leave my helmet on or take it off? I’ve taken the gas cap off. Where is that darn gas cap holder? Wait, I don’t have one. You mean that HD made a $30 thousand bike with no gas cap holder? What the heck man! Oh well, I’ll put it on the seat, let’s hope the gas doesn’t rot the leather. Now, which type of gas should I use? 87, 89, or 93 octane? 93 octane is a dollar a gallon more than regular. Will the engine explode if I use the wrong one? It's an air cooled engine, maybe the engine will overheat. I’ll splurge on the best gas this time, I don't want to take any chances. 93 octane it is.

Oh shoot, it is getting dark and the game is starting soon. I’ll just head back and watch the game instead.

 

You forgot Drag Specialty Oil !!!!

 

Slow day back at work?

 

I feel like I missed out on most of the new rider experience. First ride was a rental Honda, one of those step through things in the 60's. Guy renting them said step on the front of that foot lever to make it go, step again to go faster, step on the other end of it to slow down. And for some reason, you have to twist that handgrip to make it work, too. Step on the other pedal to stop. Never mentioned a clutch, and guess I managed without that, since I couldn't find it anyway. Got it up to an exhilarating 35mph down a hill, and I was hooked. Next bike didn't work that way. Stepping on that lever to make it go just made an awful grinding noise and I finally figured out you had to pull a handlebar lever first, and if you let go of it too fast, the front wheel pointed to the sky. I did get a tip from another vasty more experienced rider - if I ever ran out of gas, tilt the bike to the left and it would give the carb another drink and get me a substantial part of a quarter mile more down the road. And when that failed, just blow hard into the tank and force vapors into the carb and before I run out of breath, should get a final quarter mile that way. Sure enough, ran out of gas, got a few powered spurts with the tilts, and about a block from the gas station, despite feeling really silly, gave the gas filler mouth to mouth and... you think I'm going to say what a crock that advice was, but you're wrong! - it sputtered to life and made it far enough to coast into the gas station.

Oil, I don't remember ever thinking about that, just knew you had to put gas in it (or face mouth to mouth and smell like gasoline). On cars back then you changed tires when cord showed, but that little bike had tough rubber, long after it looked like a drag slick still didn't have any cord showing. I found out later it had tubes in the tires and you were supposed to put air in them so the tires didn't look so fat on the bottom; I just thought it looked cool the way the rim threw sparks when you leaned through a curve at high speed (this bike would do 45 downhill).

I found out real quick if you turned the handlebars while moving it would just fall over, so I just kept them straight and like a horse, just applied gentle pressure on the rein bar in the direction I wanted to go. But you had to push the pressure, pull and it would either turn the wrong way or fall over. Some kind of physics, and I was never good at physics, so once it finally turned a corner without falling over, I just went with that and didn't think about it anymore. Years later, someone on a motorcycle forum explained it, but by then I didn't care, my bike always goes where I want it too, that's all that matters. Until...

A few years ago I got a sidecar rig and had to learn all over again. Push on the handlebar, and the damned thing would turn the wrong direction!

 

.......... Labrador's waay overthinkin' this
..... the only 'complexity' involved w/this post is ....
ride your bike, or attempt to ride the provacateur on the blue bike

........... difficult question, i understand
Happy New Year, folks

 

I`d ride her like a dog.

 

 

I think you covered every post I've read on HDF in 2018. That was fun!

 

Definitely a fun read... Worth getting to the end.

 

Yes, it must be Winter!