I don't think in alot of cases that it's about trust at all actually. I've done things with her girlfriends when my wife was out of town (her best friend went to see The Cure with me last year for example), with no issues or worries that we were going to get freaky. The rear seat of my bike is reserved for my wife though. Keep in mind that on a bike it's a little different than in a car/truck. Unless you are on a Goldwing, you're going to have physical contact with the other person, and there are alot of women that do get turned on riding a bike (once my wife told a cop who pulled her over that she liked to ride Harley's for the vibration!)

To me it's more about respect, and any woman that wants a ride on the back gets the ok from my wife (hell I'll take anyone for a ride!) Riding is one of the things we like to do as a couple, so I can certainly understand not wanting to share it with strangers.

 

I didn't read all the posts - got through to about page 6. So I don't know if there were many other responses from the ladies.

So here's THIS woman's take. I don' think you did anything wrong, ESPECIALLY since you told your wife about it. THAT, for me would be the key. If I were your wife, finding out about it from someone else might POSSIBLY make me think you had something to hide, but being up front and bringing it up yourself, well, for me it ijust doesn't seem like it should be an issue. THe woman is a friend, she needed a lending hand and you gave it to her. Period.

The problem is, I guess I am different than a lot of women out there. I am not surprised to hear that many men's wives would feel the same way, but I just shake my head. If you are in a committed, trusting relationship, things like this just should not be an issue. Yeah, there's a certain closeness of two bodies on the motorcycle as compared to being in a car, but again, under the circumstances you describe, well, I just don't get it.

NOTE: O.K. After I posted, I see on this every page some great resonses from some of the ladies, which I was happy to hear.

 

There is no one answer to suit all.
Bottom line is she didn't like it.
Now you know and might care to ask her why SHE objected and go from there.
just my .02

 

the MAN code is don't tell the wife!!!...dumb ****

 

You have a seemingly complicated problem as evidenced by the many replies you have so far. The reason for the complication is that there are so many possible reactions to your scenario due to how different men and women can be.

My husband and I are not jealous over each other, reason being is that we very rarely give each other a reason to be jealous and we do trust each other. My husband is the kind of man that would help anyone, anytime, especially a woman in need. He would just think about what if it were ME or one of his daughters in the same situation, so he helps. My husband would have probably done the same thing you did and not have one single clue in his head when he did it that I would be upset. And with your situation, I would have probably just said "well did she like the bike?" However, I must admit I would NOT like it if he just went on a joy ride with a woman...not at all.

We try not to do to each other what the other would not want done to them. For instance, a few years ago, I wanted to go to a concert to see Heart (would have been really tame since Heart is in their 50s now I guess, but I love them) with a girl friend of mine from work. I had never seen Heart when they were just out in the 70s, so I really wanted to see one of their concerts in Myrtle Beach. I am not the party type anymore, so the concert would have been for me, purely just to see them sing. I asked him if it was ok with him, and he said he would rather I didn't because how would I feel if he did the same thing? Well, I didn't go and I wasn't mad and understood. Same instance applied when I was in my 20s and wanted to go see the Chippendale male dancers. I never asked that question again. I sure didn't want him to go to a strip joint. So...we've always known where the other stands.

Long winded I know...but....I guess this is my longwinded way to tell you that you just have to take into consideration how your spouse feels because everyone is different. You learned she didn't like it. You can either state in macho fashion that you'll do what you darn well please, or you try not to make her mad anymore that way, not because you're a wimp, but you care about her feelings. What makes your wife mad, might make some women mad, and not others.

 

Perch and Rhonda seem to have a handle on this. Most guys that ride as a means to get around would simply see this as a way to take care of the problem. If my wife didn't think I could pick someone up and take them from point A to point B without considering an affair, well I think it would be time to move on. It would be different if it were just a casual ride. I figure the truck would allow me to get a lot more intimate if that was the goal.

 

right or wrong is a matter of perception. You don't think you did, your wife does. Put it behind you, decide how to handle future situations similar to this and move on. Sounds like your wife is insecure and thinks you are not to be trusted, or her friend is not to be trusted.

j

 

It's like a foot rub............ya know?

 

It'd be HIM that would never hear the end of it, not her! Just sayin.

 

If nothing happens, then nothing happens. Doesn't matter one iota if that nothing happens in a truck or on a bike, it's still nothing. So what if the bike gets someone turned on? It's a basic physiological reaction that has no connection whatsoever to conscious intent. If you're worried about someone getting turned on by the bike do you also avoid watching any movies that have attractive women in them? I mean, you might get turned on by that Bond girl and heaven knows we can't allow natural physiological reactions.

If a woman trusts her husband and trusts her friend, then there is absolutely no rational reason for something like this to upset her. None.